Patient's say the darnest things...

Key: 
P = Patient
Me = Me
** = My thoughts
* = actions 
 

P#1: "Can I smell your hair?"
Me: "ok.......sure....."
**I'm such a people pleaser....

P#2: "I can tell you are born and raised here because you are well groomed and clean"
**What is that implying about people that are NOT born here?

P#3: "You look like you weigh less than 100lbs"
Me: "REALLY?? awww...you are too kind"

P#4: "I've never done this before, should I take off my shirt?"
Me: "NO! This is NOT THAT kind of exam"

Me: "Do you have allergies to anything?"
P#5: "I don't know, you are the doctor, shouldn't you figure it out and be telling me?"
**Seriously??

P#6: "Do you have any kids?"
Me: "No"
P#6: "Do you have a husband?"
Me: "No"
P#6: "Do you have a fiance?"
Me: "No"
P#6: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "No"
P#6: "Do you have a love interest?"
Me: "No"
P#6: "Why not? Are you not interested"
Me:  O_O..... -_-
**Do I seriously have to answer that??

P#7: "Do you believe in God?"
Me: "No"
P#7: "Why not?"
Me: "I believe in science"
P#7: "So you think we all just exist? No one created us? All these beautiful things in the world just came together?"
Me: "Yes, it's called the big bang theory and evolution...now let's get back to the exam so you can start seeing all the beautiful things in this world"

P#8: "Hey, have you seen a dog climb a tree?"
Me: "No"
P#8: "Here's 5 min video of it, watch this! It's my dog climbing a tree" *pulls out camera
Me: "Oh..that's interesting, let's get back to the exam"
P#8: "Wait, you have to watch the whole THING! He's so cute!"
Me: "Ok......"
*5 mins later
Me: "Ok...let's get back to the exam"
P#8: "Did you see how he jumped up on the tree?"
Me: "Yeah...super cute"
P#8: "I thought so too! Let's watch it again!"
Me: -_-

P#9: "Hey! Did you see that?" *kicks my chair and knocks me into the table
Me: *ouch  -_-

P#10: "I don't know why I'm here today"
Me: "Just your annual exam"
P#10: "Ok..."
Me: "Ok..we are going to get started, any questions?"
P#10: "Yeah, I don't know why I'm here"
Me: "YOUR ANNUAL EXAM"
P#10: "Oh...ok, can I ask one more question"
Me: "The answer is: your annual exam"
P#10: "Wow, you are amazing"

Never a dull day in the clinic....