I didn't ever think I'd ever say "I'm so glad I'm at work today" but I did say that today. Because I found out after work that it was 97 deg outside today. No wonder all my patients that came in today had sweaty foreheads. Makes so much more sense now. I'm glad I was in my nice A/C clinic. It's better than sweating your clothes off outside. As the temperature rises, I'm glad about ONE thing. WATERMELON. Yum. I don't know how many watermelons I'm going to have to eat when it's 120 deg outside. -_-
So I don't remember if I blogged about this (you'll probably get more and more of these as I am becoming more and more symptomatic for juvenile Alzheimer's) but the night before last, I had a dream that I was getting married and it was my wedding day. The groom? My BF, of course. And it was a glorious wedding. So carefree and fun. Not stressful at all. I wore a gorgeous dress and the day was so beautiful. Sunshine and rainbows. It was amazing.
Last night, I had a dream that I had a daughter. The father? You would think I'd say, "my BF, of course" but it was actually Mark Wahlberg. I know, random right? Well, actually, it wasn't super random. Right before I fell asleep last night, I was watching TV and he was on a commercial. It's about how he's going to get some award on TV or something like that. I always get Mark confused with this other actor. Wait, who was in Italian Job? Was that him? Oh, maybe I'm thinking of Matt Damon? I have no idea, I forgot who I confuse with who. But it was definitely Mark in my dream. She was about 2 years old and I was holding her in my arms the whole time. She looked just like "little mouse" or "lo shu jie". So cute and she had my haircut and my personality. She was constantly saying "mommy" and I responded with "yup, that's me" followed by a HUGE smile.
I did tell my BF about BOTH dreams and I'm surprised he didn't run away already. At least that means he's kind of committed to me right? Right? he he he...
There was a patient I had today that smelled so bad I almost passed out. Seriously, with the door closed, I felt like the room was getting fumigated, but with the patient's scent. I almost passed out. I had to keep breathing through my mouth but the more I tried to breath through my mouth, the more I felt like I was eating and ingesting the toxic air born molecules. The more I thought about how I was eating the molecules, the more I wanted to throw up to expel those nasty scent molecules back into the air and out of my internal airway. It was really hard to not die from the smell. I was trying my best to keep my composure and not make the patient feel bad. When I finally stepped out of the room, I took the biggest, deepest breath of fresh air I could take. Febreeze couldn't even neutralize the smell in the room. Oh gosh, I can just hope that it's aired out by tomorrow.
It's really sad to go through yelp and look through all the good restaurants that I've eaten at and find out that most of them are closed. All those good memories are gone. Poof, vanished. How sad. I found out another restaurant closed around the school I used to go to. I loved eating there with my friend for lunch. The food was so good. I know I really over emphasize food a lot of the times, but I do value the social experience too. Most of the time, I associate how good the food is with how good the company is. When I find fondly back about my dining experience, I recall the people I ate with and the things we talked about. It's a bonding experience. You know how we felt like after we came back from studying abroad and we were just so sad because we knew that those memories are gone? We can't ever go back to relive those memories because the same people we shared it with are not there anymore? That's how I feel when a good restaurant closes. I can't ever go back to eat that same food with the great people that I shared it with. It's gone. It's not there anymore. And just like when the restaurant closed down, I feel like all those good thoughts/feelings/memories have vanished with it. Makes me so sad. :( I guess I could try to refill those good memories with new ones but it almost always feels like it's not the same. You know how you never really realize how good something is or enjoy something until it's gone? Like how we didn't know how good our time studying abroad was or how I didn't know how good undergrad was or grad school was until I graduated? Or how much I would miss friends when they are gone? I am always one of those "miss it after it's gone" type of people. I don't really truly enjoy or savor moments when I'm actually living them, I just get sad afterwards when I realize it was really good/fun and then reminiscence those times. I'm always chasing or living in the past. I put the past on a pedestal and I continually miss the present. It's a flaw of mine, I know. I'm working on it....actually I'm not. But isn't acknowledging something the first step?
Wow, it's almost 10pm, I better go get ready for bed! I'd like to read a little before I fall asleep. Good night.
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