BOO!! Happy Halloween!!!
So we had our potluck today and I brought my two noodles that I made (chicken stir fried noodles and egg noodles with sauce). I was really reluctant to even bring them out because I made them last night and it's been cold, it really needs to be served warm and I've sucked at so many potluck dishes before, I just had no self confidence to show people my culinary skills...but I did....I brought them out and to my surprise, everyone said it was pretty good. And this one lady even went above and beyond and said "IT'S SOOO GOOD! Everyone has to try this! It's amazing!" I was so happy! I would have been satisfied with everyone just patting me on the back and saying "nice effort" but this was beyond my expectations. Who knew that the key to cooking was using oil and controlling temperature. I know my boyfriend has been saying this to me for years but who really listens to their boyfriend anyway.
I felt like I was pretty good about not over indulging on the food. I stayed away from the pizza, I said no to the SUPER good smelling buffalo chicken dip (had me salivating ALL morning as I smelled it down the hallway), and I didn't even touch the desserts! That's so unlike me! I tried to stick to veggies, fruits and other healthier alternatives. I'm not going to die, I had a couple of rolled tacos (super deep fried) and I indulged on some ham and cheese pinwheels but overall, I came out a winner because I didn't stuff myself silly and felt like I had to be rolled back to my side of the clinic. I'm kind of glad I didn't have any of that buffalo chicken dip (even though EVERYONE was RAVING about it) because I asked the girl for the recipe and I forget all the details, but it sounds like lard cooked with fat cooked with more oil. So...no thank you. I don't really care how good it tastes or smells..I'm going to pass on that heart attack.
It's Halloween!! I hope no one knocks on my door for candy because I've already eaten it all! Muhahahahahhahahaha! Sorry kids! I've beat you to it! Better luck next year! You really should have come yesterday...actually it was gone yesterday already too LOL. There's no winning with me.
I'm SUPER worried about tomorrow. I'm overbooked TWICE in the morning, I'm going to see so many patients tomorrow my head is going to spin! I'm also not doing well with my cough. I have these periods where I can't stop coughing and it's really disruptive during my exam considering I'm more concerned about when I'm going to cough next and less concerned about what I'm seeing in the patient's eye. I really should see a doctor about this soon. I feel like it's getting worse. I had trouble falling asleep last night because I kept coughing and it wouldn't stop. When I fell asleep I'd cough so badly that I'd wake up. Ok, maybe time to consult my Medical "Doctor" friend.
I'm going to start a bug bite count, it's really ridiculous. Every time I come back to Arizona, I get new bug bites....I don't know what it is about this place that makes me so tasty. I got 4 on my first night, and since then I've gotten two more. I've been using the "burn it with a hot spoon" technique but that's only lasting about half the day. Then from lunch on, I'm itching like crazy. I know, I have problems. I itch and cough for the whole afternoon. It's super annoying. These itchy patches are always GIGANTIC!! What kind of bugs are biting me here? What am I dealing with here? Ugh!
Ok, I'm going to try to retire early tonight since I didn't get any sleep last night thanks to my cough attacks. It's only 5:30 hahaha. Yes...I'm pathetic.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Day before Halloween!
Hello FRIEND!
I think I'm going to start writing this blog directed more towards YOU, my friend. I'm sure no one else reads it so let's just stop pretending. Haha.
After being MIA for days and days, I'm glad to finally hear from you! I'm sorry to bring you bad news today about not being able to visit. When you feel better we'll plan for something, I promise! I have credit to use, so I'll for sure make it up there soon!
I might be a hypochondriac but I think what I have right now is really real. I can't breath half the time and now I've developed this cough. My other Medical friend warned me about this, that if I start developing a cough, it's a bad sign. Eeeek! I have to get this looked at soon, hope it's not what I predict it is!
I can't believe tomorrow is Halloween! It really sneaked up on me! After Halloween it's a fast segway into Thanksgiving and then Christmas. In fact, I've already seen a ton of stores selling Christmas things already! It's crazy how early they want to start making a profit!
I think my tolerance for people has completely dwindled to nothing. Every time I go to work now, I'm always annoyed with people! Sometimes it's the jokes they make, sometimes it's how much they talk, sometimes it's how completely incapable they are of following directions and sometimes it's even at how many problems I find that I need to address about their health.
I get so happy when I see one normal person with no complaints, it's almost like Christmas came early for me! My happiness is equivalent to giving a little kid candy, but not just any candy, like a giant piece of their favorite candy, wrapped up in more pieces of another favorite piece of candy!! Yes, it's like that.
Since tomorrow is Halloween, my clinic is dressing up in 80's theme and asked me a join...which I think I'll pass, even though I have enough hair...and I do have like a few fluorescent colored things, but that's ok, I'd rather look like a normal adult. If I were to dress up, I'd rather dress up as something that I want to be...like a Giant Gummy Bear or a Macaron!! But aside from dressing up, I guess we are going to have a potluck! CHA CHING! Yes! Sign me up! I'm totally into food! I'm signed up to make guacamole but I think I'm going to just make some stir fried noodles instead (sticking to my Asian roots). Just like all other potluck dishes I've made, it's probably going to look and taste terrible and no one is going to eat it. But that's ok...because the point is, I tried. I'm just going to keep telling myself that.
So backing up a little bit, let's talk about Seattle. I just got back on Monday. It was ok, not much to explore. I think just one day of exploration was enough to cover everything I wanted to see. I got to go up the Space Needle and check out the water front. And then there's Pike's Farmer's Market and University of Washington. I didn't really do much else, oh...I walked around Chinatown. There's so much fresh seafood there, made me really want to buy some and cook it while I was there! Too bad I didn't have a kitchen there!
Yesterday I got really pumped and decided to catch up with my yelp reviews. I haven't written a review in probably a year? And I decided to go back and look through all the places that I've checked in at and try to write a review for every single place. I thought I had done 100 but then when I checked I only wrote like 16 or something. Pathetic, I know. I'd like to think I'm just writing more quality reviews and that's why it took me long. So why did I suddenly get the urge to play catch up and write yelp reviews? I think I'm just dodging real work I have to do. I have a lot of errands to run and papers to write but I'm procrastinating. I've been in such a rut, so lazy all the time, what's going on with me? Gosh, I don't understand, it's like I've run out of gas or there's no more wick for this candle to burn, the light has gone out. I know I have all these things that I need to do and I'm neglecting it. Ugh, I hate it when I'm worried but yet not motivated enough to be productive. That's the worse!! Well, at least my yelp account benefited from this. I thought I was going to lose my yelp elite status because I've been so inactive.
In addition to yelping, I've been READING. Yes, I wrote it and you read it correctly, READING. Like real books. I just finished that >500page book, Wildwood and now I'm reading this other book "Mr. Penumbra's 24 hour bookstore". I know, sounds like a weird book, almost like a children's book, but it's a legit novel with many many pages. So every night before I go to bed, I try to read a little. As oppose to before, where I'd just hit the pillow and SLEEP. I'm a different person now.
There's a ton of new episodes of our favorite shows on Hulu! I have been trying to watch them but surprisingly, yelping and reading has taken up a lot of my time! And now, I'm going to add blogging to this as well. These are all activities that allow me to be very lethargic and inactive. Just how I like it now...lol.
I hope you got my care package. I sent you a few things, I have already forgot what I sent you but I think they were good things?
I got this postcard from Seattle I wanted to send you but I didn't get a chance to go to the postoffice, so it'll probably have to be sent from here. Sorry, I know how you like mail sent from THAT location. I tried, I really did. :(
Ok, well, I better get going and start cooking for tomorrow's Potluck. In case I fail, I need more time to restart. Wish me luck! I hope you are doing well. *big hugs*
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Itchy Patches
I've always wonder why running hot, almost burning water onto a bug bite makes it feel SOOOO good. I hate bug bites! Hate is not even a strong enough word to describe my disdain for bug bites! I've always been such a good meal for bugs too. It's my dad's tasty blood that runs through my veins, I just know it! A few trips back to China (where there are crazy, deadly mosquitoes lurking around every corner waiting to make you it's next victim) has proven that bugs LOVE to feast on my dad and I, while my mom and brother are ALWAYS spared. Makes sense, eat the tastier meal, why waste calories on less tasty victims.
Ever since I've moved here, I've been bug finding new bug bites (which I'm going to call "itchy patches" from now) all over my body!! Almost a new one every day!! Seriously, how is that possible?!?!?! And these bug bites swell up to the size of a quarter and itchy like you want to rip off your arm! The only thing that will make the itching stop, is running really hot water on it. So, back to my original topic, "why does it feel so good to run hot water onto your itchy patch?"
I actually googled this because I was so curious! I found a few postings that kind of make sense. One explained that when bugs bite you, they inject a venom in you that goes under your skin. This venom prevents your blood from clotting so the bug can maximize the blood it gets from one bite. The venom also becomes a foreign substance that is identified by your body and attracts a low grade immune/allergic response. This causes all the swelling and itchiness. When you run hot water on the itchy patch, it denatures the proteins that the venom is composed of, and decreases the immune/allergic response, therefore, the itchiness goes away. This makes sense....only if the itchiness never comes back. But after a while, the itchiness comes back......so onto the next theory.
Another theory I found states that the pain you feel from the hot water distracts you from the itchiness. As soon as the itchy patch recovers from the low grade burn you gave it, the distraction is gone and the itchiness comes back.
Which theory is true? I don't know, but all I know is, I HATE bug bites, but the only silver lining of getting a bug bite is that searing feeling of pain/satisfaction when I run boiling water onto the itchy patch to relieve me of its insanely overwhelming itchy sensation.
I also learned that you can heat up a metal spoon by dipping it in hot water and put the spoon on the itchy patch directly! That way it's more of a direct searing sensation, just in case the itchy patch is in a hard to reach spot! The spoon's been an amazing new tool :)
That's my plug on itchy patches...moving on.......
I've had a request to write about my HK friend that has recently moved back to my hometown to study again. I think he's working on a ph.D. this time around. Good for him! I'm super happy for his achievements! It's always nice to see him again too. Ok, that's it, that's all I know...haha, I know you were probably expecting for more juicy details to be spilled about him but I really don't have anymore than this. LoL.
There was this memo or email that was distributed at work about wearing PINK today to support some sorta cause, I don't know what it is because I didn't get the memo or email. Anyways, my point is, since I didn't get the memo, I didn't show up to work in pink. It wouldn't have been so bad except they decided to take pictures and of course I looked very awkward not wearing pink when everyone else in the picture was sporting pink. Can you say "left out"? That's ok, I don't care, it's going to be a picture that is going to plastered around clinic where I'm the odd man out....that's alright. I'll live.
Ever since I've moved here, I've been bug finding new bug bites (which I'm going to call "itchy patches" from now) all over my body!! Almost a new one every day!! Seriously, how is that possible?!?!?! And these bug bites swell up to the size of a quarter and itchy like you want to rip off your arm! The only thing that will make the itching stop, is running really hot water on it. So, back to my original topic, "why does it feel so good to run hot water onto your itchy patch?"
I actually googled this because I was so curious! I found a few postings that kind of make sense. One explained that when bugs bite you, they inject a venom in you that goes under your skin. This venom prevents your blood from clotting so the bug can maximize the blood it gets from one bite. The venom also becomes a foreign substance that is identified by your body and attracts a low grade immune/allergic response. This causes all the swelling and itchiness. When you run hot water on the itchy patch, it denatures the proteins that the venom is composed of, and decreases the immune/allergic response, therefore, the itchiness goes away. This makes sense....only if the itchiness never comes back. But after a while, the itchiness comes back......so onto the next theory.
Another theory I found states that the pain you feel from the hot water distracts you from the itchiness. As soon as the itchy patch recovers from the low grade burn you gave it, the distraction is gone and the itchiness comes back.
Which theory is true? I don't know, but all I know is, I HATE bug bites, but the only silver lining of getting a bug bite is that searing feeling of pain/satisfaction when I run boiling water onto the itchy patch to relieve me of its insanely overwhelming itchy sensation.
I also learned that you can heat up a metal spoon by dipping it in hot water and put the spoon on the itchy patch directly! That way it's more of a direct searing sensation, just in case the itchy patch is in a hard to reach spot! The spoon's been an amazing new tool :)
That's my plug on itchy patches...moving on.......
I've had a request to write about my HK friend that has recently moved back to my hometown to study again. I think he's working on a ph.D. this time around. Good for him! I'm super happy for his achievements! It's always nice to see him again too. Ok, that's it, that's all I know...haha, I know you were probably expecting for more juicy details to be spilled about him but I really don't have anymore than this. LoL.
There was this memo or email that was distributed at work about wearing PINK today to support some sorta cause, I don't know what it is because I didn't get the memo or email. Anyways, my point is, since I didn't get the memo, I didn't show up to work in pink. It wouldn't have been so bad except they decided to take pictures and of course I looked very awkward not wearing pink when everyone else in the picture was sporting pink. Can you say "left out"? That's ok, I don't care, it's going to be a picture that is going to plastered around clinic where I'm the odd man out....that's alright. I'll live.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Feeling Lazy...so I'm blogging...
I really did have the intentions of going for a run today..........but got too lazy. Story of my life. Not even looking at the developing cellulite on my body is motivating me to go running. Why am I so lazy here? How did I ever motivate myself to run 9 miles a day when I was in school? And I'm sure I was a ton busier at that time in my life.
I've been reading this article on Princess Diana in Vanity Fair for like 2 weeks now. I read a little each morning as I'm eating breakfast. It's really interesting reading about her life but I think it taints my opinion of her. I guess that just shows my ignorance. I think the rest of the world already knows everything about her, I'm probably the only one that finds the information a NEW thing. I felt bad for her before because Prince Charles cheated on her but then I find out that she was also playing the cheating game but just shied away from the public eye enough not to be called out about it. Shame, shame, shame. Whatever happened to being faithful in a high profile, royal wedding? I have grown quite fond of Prince William and Kate Middleton. I hope they don't engage in adulterous acts that tear down their marriage.
I'm growing more and more excited about my trip to Seattle soon. I can't wait to embrace the cold and rainy weather. Yes...I said it, I'm into cold weather now. The old me (maybe even 1 year ago) wouldn't have openly admitted to liking cold weather...maybe admitting to it growing on me, but not openly embracing it. This is bold for me! I can't wait to wear sweaters and scarves and boots and coats! Yay! I'm excited just thinking about it! The only down side to travelling to cold places is that you have to lug all your winter clothes with you. Which is a LOT heavier than summer clothes.
The 2 glass pots that I ordered over the weekend to replace the other glass pot I broke finally arrived at my parent's house! They were so excited....until they opened it and found out the pot is shattered. Yikes! Guess they didn't wrap it well enough. I knew something like this was going to happen. Those suckers shatter too easily. And they are expensive too. Maybe I'm just cursed, I can't keep any glassware from shattering, even when it's ordered online!
So this might seem stupid....but I'm monitoring my dad's email right now so I have both his and my email opened. At first I was just trying to see if I could send a gchat to my dad's account, which you can.....and then I sent a message using my dad's account back to myself, and then so on and so forth until I realized I was basically having a conversation with myself. Yeah, I know, I'm weird. But come on, I've done weirder things....I think....
I have nastiest bug bit on my b*tt....it's SOO ITCHY!! But it's unsightly to scratch!! Ugh! Mark my words you terrible bugs! I'm going to come get you soon and take my sweet sweet revenge on you suckers!!!
I'm just going to put in a little plug for my baby brother. I'm so proud of him! He's writing columns for the school newspaper! I could never accomplish such literary achievements because I have poor spelling, poor grammar, and most of the time, I think I just ramble. It wouldn't make any sense to the reader what I'm writing (so I assume). Check out his review on the UCR newspaper!
http://www.highlandernews.org/10737/restaurant-review-red-hot-kitchen/
I've been reading this article on Princess Diana in Vanity Fair for like 2 weeks now. I read a little each morning as I'm eating breakfast. It's really interesting reading about her life but I think it taints my opinion of her. I guess that just shows my ignorance. I think the rest of the world already knows everything about her, I'm probably the only one that finds the information a NEW thing. I felt bad for her before because Prince Charles cheated on her but then I find out that she was also playing the cheating game but just shied away from the public eye enough not to be called out about it. Shame, shame, shame. Whatever happened to being faithful in a high profile, royal wedding? I have grown quite fond of Prince William and Kate Middleton. I hope they don't engage in adulterous acts that tear down their marriage.
I'm growing more and more excited about my trip to Seattle soon. I can't wait to embrace the cold and rainy weather. Yes...I said it, I'm into cold weather now. The old me (maybe even 1 year ago) wouldn't have openly admitted to liking cold weather...maybe admitting to it growing on me, but not openly embracing it. This is bold for me! I can't wait to wear sweaters and scarves and boots and coats! Yay! I'm excited just thinking about it! The only down side to travelling to cold places is that you have to lug all your winter clothes with you. Which is a LOT heavier than summer clothes.
The 2 glass pots that I ordered over the weekend to replace the other glass pot I broke finally arrived at my parent's house! They were so excited....until they opened it and found out the pot is shattered. Yikes! Guess they didn't wrap it well enough. I knew something like this was going to happen. Those suckers shatter too easily. And they are expensive too. Maybe I'm just cursed, I can't keep any glassware from shattering, even when it's ordered online!
So this might seem stupid....but I'm monitoring my dad's email right now so I have both his and my email opened. At first I was just trying to see if I could send a gchat to my dad's account, which you can.....and then I sent a message using my dad's account back to myself, and then so on and so forth until I realized I was basically having a conversation with myself. Yeah, I know, I'm weird. But come on, I've done weirder things....I think....
I have nastiest bug bit on my b*tt....it's SOO ITCHY!! But it's unsightly to scratch!! Ugh! Mark my words you terrible bugs! I'm going to come get you soon and take my sweet sweet revenge on you suckers!!!
I'm just going to put in a little plug for my baby brother. I'm so proud of him! He's writing columns for the school newspaper! I could never accomplish such literary achievements because I have poor spelling, poor grammar, and most of the time, I think I just ramble. It wouldn't make any sense to the reader what I'm writing (so I assume). Check out his review on the UCR newspaper!
http://www.highlandernews.org/10737/restaurant-review-red-hot-kitchen/
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
The Perfect French Macaroon
During this weekend I got to feel my cousin's belly. Let me explain, this is not in a weird, incestuous way....it's because she's pregnant and the baby was moving around in her tummy. It was so weird feeling it move. I thought it was always really magical but when I felt it move, it felt very unnatural. Almost like an alien was inside of her waiting to be hatched so it can come out and take over the world!! Ok, maybe not THAT weird, but still WEIRD. Then one of my best friends, whose also pregnant, told me how she likes to feel the baby move in her belly. And that triggered my memory of feeling my cousin's baby and then I got all creeped out again. What does this mean?? Am I not ready to have a baby? Am I not ready to be a mother? Am I not mature enough to handle pregnancy?? Whoa, hold on, that's a lot of grown-up questions and a lot of grown up talk. Maybe I should just take some baby steps and at least get engaged first. I'm not even in a position to be thinking about babies right now. Ok, I just need to chill-lax.
So thought I was exaggerating when I ranted incessantly about how everyone is getting engaged and married left and right but this weekend proved that I'm not all talk! There were TWO engagements and one wedding this past weekend! Both engagements were announced via email instead of facebook. The wedding was public on facebook. I guess we are phasing away from using facebook to announce things now? Or maybe it's a private preview window into their lives before it goes live on facebook for the rest of the world to see!
My reaction is always the same to every engagement and wedding. I feel bliss and joy as the wish the couple forever happiness. Getting married to me is like finding the delicious filling that brings two French macaron halves together. The halves are nothing without the filling gluing them together. It's so beautiful when two people come together in a binding union, just like a Perfectly Colorful French Macaron. But just as quickly as you can finish eating a macaron, my feelings of bliss and joy are substituted by bitterness and despair as I yearn for the day when I will be the one sending out that glorious wedding bell email! Well.......let's not hold our breath if you are waiting for MY announcement email...it seems very very VERY far in the DISTANT future. Just to be clear, I feel more joy than bitterness...I do...trust me. Ok, let's just leave it at that.
I don't know very many details of what happened for one of the engagements, but it seems like it was done during dinner and a very fancy dessert was shared. The other engagement had many details and play by play photos were shared! When I read about the details, like being woken up at 4am...I was very shocked, Shocked that my friend would even consider waking up that early and shocked that the girl didn't punch him in the face. I really think that if someone woke me up at 4am and made me get ready/get dressed, I'd be really upset and probably throw a giant fit...and maybe a punch or two. I'm very nasty when you wake me up. That's why I wake up before everyone else so I don't have to punch anyone in the face. I'm so considerate :)
Yes, I'm very envious of everyone that has a giant rock on their wedding finger. Very envious. So just when I think all the engagement news is over, I found out on facebook that two of my friends from highschool got married!!! Crazy! I didn't even know they were dating. Wow! Time really does fly. Seeing my two highschool friends made me think about when my 10 year reunion is....NEXT YEAR! OMG! I don't even know if I want to go to my 10 year reunion. I mean, think about it, who would I want to see there that I wouldn't have kept in touch with? And besides, don't people usually go to those things to flaunt about how great their lives are, right? I really have nothing to flaunt. I'm broke, I have a ton of loans, I live in the middle of no where and up until yesterday, I didn't even have a car. So...unless anything big happens.....maybe I'll skip my 10 year reunion. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.
Back to finding out big news, so skipping past the two engagements and a wedding......I got an email today informing me that my hometown VA is hiring a full time doctor for at LEAST 30% more pay than I am getting now. *jaw drops open* Yes, that was pretty much my response. I can't believe this!!!!!! Yes, let's dangle a really colorful/pretty french macaron in front of my face and tell me not to eat it! Because that's pretty much what's happening right now.
My laugh of the day: So I emailed my boyfriend and told him about the engagements and the VA position. He took the whole day to respond but his response was: "You still have me...." First reaction: I don't know why I thought this response was laugh out loud funny because that's what I did, busted out laughing. Second reaction: "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I think he's serious........that's so sweet". Third reaction: "wait....is he being sarcastic?? Is this a joke? I'm offended". So now, I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel about his response. Confusion?
The Truth: of course, knowing me, I ranted off to everyone that would listen to me about how it's so unfair that my hometown has a full time position opened with more pay!! Luckily one of the people I ranted off to was my classmate who informed me that he's heard nothing but bad things about that place. Overbearing supervisor, incompetent colleagues and poor relations with other clinics. This made me feel a lot better about not being to apply for that position. I'd probably save more money and be closer to friends/family if I worked in my hometown but I'd probably be miserable at work everyday. I feel a lot better about not applying to work there. When the dust settles, I guess things aren't always what it's cracked up to be. Sorry perfect, beautiful French macaron, you turned out to be 3 months old, stale and very crunchy, so I no longer want you.
Oh my gosh, why did I make food analogies? Now I really want a french macaron and everyone knows I'm NEVER gonna find one here! *sighs
So thought I was exaggerating when I ranted incessantly about how everyone is getting engaged and married left and right but this weekend proved that I'm not all talk! There were TWO engagements and one wedding this past weekend! Both engagements were announced via email instead of facebook. The wedding was public on facebook. I guess we are phasing away from using facebook to announce things now? Or maybe it's a private preview window into their lives before it goes live on facebook for the rest of the world to see!
My reaction is always the same to every engagement and wedding. I feel bliss and joy as the wish the couple forever happiness. Getting married to me is like finding the delicious filling that brings two French macaron halves together. The halves are nothing without the filling gluing them together. It's so beautiful when two people come together in a binding union, just like a Perfectly Colorful French Macaron. But just as quickly as you can finish eating a macaron, my feelings of bliss and joy are substituted by bitterness and despair as I yearn for the day when I will be the one sending out that glorious wedding bell email! Well.......let's not hold our breath if you are waiting for MY announcement email...it seems very very VERY far in the DISTANT future. Just to be clear, I feel more joy than bitterness...I do...trust me. Ok, let's just leave it at that.
I don't know very many details of what happened for one of the engagements, but it seems like it was done during dinner and a very fancy dessert was shared. The other engagement had many details and play by play photos were shared! When I read about the details, like being woken up at 4am...I was very shocked, Shocked that my friend would even consider waking up that early and shocked that the girl didn't punch him in the face. I really think that if someone woke me up at 4am and made me get ready/get dressed, I'd be really upset and probably throw a giant fit...and maybe a punch or two. I'm very nasty when you wake me up. That's why I wake up before everyone else so I don't have to punch anyone in the face. I'm so considerate :)
Yes, I'm very envious of everyone that has a giant rock on their wedding finger. Very envious. So just when I think all the engagement news is over, I found out on facebook that two of my friends from highschool got married!!! Crazy! I didn't even know they were dating. Wow! Time really does fly. Seeing my two highschool friends made me think about when my 10 year reunion is....NEXT YEAR! OMG! I don't even know if I want to go to my 10 year reunion. I mean, think about it, who would I want to see there that I wouldn't have kept in touch with? And besides, don't people usually go to those things to flaunt about how great their lives are, right? I really have nothing to flaunt. I'm broke, I have a ton of loans, I live in the middle of no where and up until yesterday, I didn't even have a car. So...unless anything big happens.....maybe I'll skip my 10 year reunion. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.
Back to finding out big news, so skipping past the two engagements and a wedding......I got an email today informing me that my hometown VA is hiring a full time doctor for at LEAST 30% more pay than I am getting now. *jaw drops open* Yes, that was pretty much my response. I can't believe this!!!!!! Yes, let's dangle a really colorful/pretty french macaron in front of my face and tell me not to eat it! Because that's pretty much what's happening right now.
My laugh of the day: So I emailed my boyfriend and told him about the engagements and the VA position. He took the whole day to respond but his response was: "You still have me...." First reaction: I don't know why I thought this response was laugh out loud funny because that's what I did, busted out laughing. Second reaction: "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I think he's serious........that's so sweet". Third reaction: "wait....is he being sarcastic?? Is this a joke? I'm offended". So now, I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel about his response. Confusion?
The Truth: of course, knowing me, I ranted off to everyone that would listen to me about how it's so unfair that my hometown has a full time position opened with more pay!! Luckily one of the people I ranted off to was my classmate who informed me that he's heard nothing but bad things about that place. Overbearing supervisor, incompetent colleagues and poor relations with other clinics. This made me feel a lot better about not being to apply for that position. I'd probably save more money and be closer to friends/family if I worked in my hometown but I'd probably be miserable at work everyday. I feel a lot better about not applying to work there. When the dust settles, I guess things aren't always what it's cracked up to be. Sorry perfect, beautiful French macaron, you turned out to be 3 months old, stale and very crunchy, so I no longer want you.
Oh my gosh, why did I make food analogies? Now I really want a french macaron and everyone knows I'm NEVER gonna find one here! *sighs
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Youth
She didn't come into work today. I'm talking about my technician.
Another sad, stressful day.
I got overbooked this morning too. Had to do TWO jobs, all while getting jammed packed with patients. Oh goodness.
I seriously was sincerely scared this morning when I was dealing with this one patient that had some complications. I made a judgment call, ending up it wasn't a good idea, and then I got screwed. I had to keep him in clinic for 2+ hours, continually treating him with meds in hopes he would get better. I'm trying to assess my actions....if I had to do the whole thing over, would I have done anything differently? The answer is no. Now I'm thinking...oh no, is my way of treating patients wrong? Or was I taught wrong? Or was I even taught what to do in these situations? I don't know, I can't remember. My memory is terrible. My attention span is even worse.
I remember this one year when I was probably 8 or 9 years old (I don't remember, surprise surprise) but I sat there for a good 10 mins trying to figure out how old I was. I guess I was too dumb to just subtract the current year from my birth year. I remember sitting on the couch and thinking "how old am I? Last year, I think I had the number 8 on my birthday cake...or was that the year before? Did I even celebrate my birthday last year? I think I'm 9 this year...wait, that can't be right....man, if I'm 9, I'm getting so OLD! I'm gonna be almost 10. Whoa"
Yup, it happened. And the sad part was, it happened again when I was 22 or 23 (again, I don't remember). I just remember sitting down and trying to recall how I celebrated my birthday the year before and then I realized I don't remember I old I am. It freaked me out again, but luckily, during my early 20's I was smart enough to do the math and I figured it out real fast.
The most current example, a few weeks ago when my boyfriend tricked me and told me I was 28 this year. That thought was really frightening. "28?? OMG! I'm going to be 29 next year?? Meaning I'm going to be 30 soon??? OMG!!!" But then I calmed down and realized it was just a cruel joke my boyfriend was playing on me. You'd think I'd feel better that I'm not 28, but being 27 is awfully close. That means I will be 28 SOON. *shivers
Aside from "You look really young!" and "You're not married?? Why not?? You really should get married soon!", the other more common comment I get from my patients is "Don't grow old." What solid advice. I really wish I could actually take that advice. But like, everyone in the world, I'm subjected to the wrath of time. Tick tock, tick tock, I'm just getting older as each second, minuet, hour rolls by. Now I know why the make-up industry is so big. I finally understand why women are willing to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars slathering creams/oils on their face and undergoing dangerous surgical procedures to "preserve" their youth. It's just matter of time before I transform myself into one of those aging youth-obsessed women. Or maybe, I'm already one of them, but just in the closet about it.
I need to start a tally of patients that think I'm a little kid. I had another comment today about how I looked like a little kid and the patient didn't believe I am the doctor. I know I should really take it as a compliment, maybe 10 years down the road, I'm going to WISH people think I look young and I'll re-read these blog entries about me complaining and kick myself.
I'm so conflicted, I want to stay young but I don't want patients to think I'm a little kid. I'm just a typical women, I just want it all and nothing every satisfies me.
I'm really happy tomorrow is Friday. This has been a LONG week without my tech. LONG week indeed.
Sorry this blog is so random but I think my thoughts are just scattered right now since I'm so tired. Will write again soon dear friend. And I'll try to be more organized next time. Until then, take care!
Another sad, stressful day.
I got overbooked this morning too. Had to do TWO jobs, all while getting jammed packed with patients. Oh goodness.
I seriously was sincerely scared this morning when I was dealing with this one patient that had some complications. I made a judgment call, ending up it wasn't a good idea, and then I got screwed. I had to keep him in clinic for 2+ hours, continually treating him with meds in hopes he would get better. I'm trying to assess my actions....if I had to do the whole thing over, would I have done anything differently? The answer is no. Now I'm thinking...oh no, is my way of treating patients wrong? Or was I taught wrong? Or was I even taught what to do in these situations? I don't know, I can't remember. My memory is terrible. My attention span is even worse.
I remember this one year when I was probably 8 or 9 years old (I don't remember, surprise surprise) but I sat there for a good 10 mins trying to figure out how old I was. I guess I was too dumb to just subtract the current year from my birth year. I remember sitting on the couch and thinking "how old am I? Last year, I think I had the number 8 on my birthday cake...or was that the year before? Did I even celebrate my birthday last year? I think I'm 9 this year...wait, that can't be right....man, if I'm 9, I'm getting so OLD! I'm gonna be almost 10. Whoa"
Yup, it happened. And the sad part was, it happened again when I was 22 or 23 (again, I don't remember). I just remember sitting down and trying to recall how I celebrated my birthday the year before and then I realized I don't remember I old I am. It freaked me out again, but luckily, during my early 20's I was smart enough to do the math and I figured it out real fast.
The most current example, a few weeks ago when my boyfriend tricked me and told me I was 28 this year. That thought was really frightening. "28?? OMG! I'm going to be 29 next year?? Meaning I'm going to be 30 soon??? OMG!!!" But then I calmed down and realized it was just a cruel joke my boyfriend was playing on me. You'd think I'd feel better that I'm not 28, but being 27 is awfully close. That means I will be 28 SOON. *shivers
Aside from "You look really young!" and "You're not married?? Why not?? You really should get married soon!", the other more common comment I get from my patients is "Don't grow old." What solid advice. I really wish I could actually take that advice. But like, everyone in the world, I'm subjected to the wrath of time. Tick tock, tick tock, I'm just getting older as each second, minuet, hour rolls by. Now I know why the make-up industry is so big. I finally understand why women are willing to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars slathering creams/oils on their face and undergoing dangerous surgical procedures to "preserve" their youth. It's just matter of time before I transform myself into one of those aging youth-obsessed women. Or maybe, I'm already one of them, but just in the closet about it.
I need to start a tally of patients that think I'm a little kid. I had another comment today about how I looked like a little kid and the patient didn't believe I am the doctor. I know I should really take it as a compliment, maybe 10 years down the road, I'm going to WISH people think I look young and I'll re-read these blog entries about me complaining and kick myself.
I'm so conflicted, I want to stay young but I don't want patients to think I'm a little kid. I'm just a typical women, I just want it all and nothing every satisfies me.
I'm really happy tomorrow is Friday. This has been a LONG week without my tech. LONG week indeed.
Sorry this blog is so random but I think my thoughts are just scattered right now since I'm so tired. Will write again soon dear friend. And I'll try to be more organized next time. Until then, take care!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Just Another Typical Wednesday Morning
As I have mentioned before, I like to get to work early to prep for the day. This morning was no exception. Got all my charts prep and exam room ready for action!
Now let me back up. I know my tech is suppose to get here 8am, but occasionally I notice she strolls in a few mins late, 8:05...or 8:10...but no big deal, as long as she still gets her work done.
So knowing this, since she usually comes in later than 8am, I start my patient care before I even see her in the morning, I just assumes to comes into work on time sometimes because I get so busy, I don't have time to micromanage her schedule.
So this morning was like all the other mornings, I start patient care without seeing her come in. I'm pretty much on my third patient before I realize I haven't seen her yet. But I look over and the technician room is opened and the lights are on...that usually means she's here. WEIRD. So I've got three people waiting for her that needs some sort of auxiliary test or help with an order. So by now I'm a little concerned that she didn't show up to work or is just chit chatting with someone in clinic somewhere. So I run around clinic looking for her and I was shocked when I found her! SHOCKED!
She was getting strapped onto a stretcher by two EMT guys and then wheeled out of the building. O_O YES! My thoughts exactly! "WHAT HAPPENED???"
So I guess the story was that she was feeling dizzy and then she had chest pains and she wanted to faint. Probably some blood pressure or heart issue. OH MY GOSH, I felt terrible! Here I was getting all angry at her for not doing her job and then I find her getting wheeled off to the emergency room! I'm such a terrible person! Ugh.
So after wallowing for a little bit, I snapped back into clinic mode. Let me remind you that I still had THREE people waiting for me, and two more people I needed to see! This part of the morning I really don't remember how I did everything so quickly...but somehow I managed to run all the auxiliary tests, diagnosis someone with advance disease (patient consultation, education, prescribe medication), give two other exams and send someone off to the medical hospital because they probably needed surgery. I somehow pulled all of this off only being about 10 mins late for ONE patient and I still somehow finished 15mins early. CRAZY right?
But because I did everything so fast, I didn't have time to chart, so I had to spend my entire lunch time recalling everything I saw and charting it down for every patient. My charts are starting to blend together and really suck. I've got to devise a better system to prevent this from happening. I have such a terrible memory, why do I always think I don't need to write things down because I saw it and I'll remember to chart it later??? I need to hire a scribe. They just sit there and write down my findings as I call them out during the exam. That would be really nice.
Anyone want to be my scribe? I don't have money to pay you. LoL.
Actually, just having a tech would be really nice right about now. *sighs
I hope she's doing ok and I wish her a speedy recovery.
I'm not looking forward to more days without her :( It's going to be chaos! If conditions like this persist, I'm just going to quit. This is too stressful for me to handle!
This is me at work without my tech:
not a pretty picture........
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Facing fears and getting married
The last 24 hours were packed full of emotions and here's why:
Darkness:
After I stopped blogging last night, I went out and got a "get well card" and a bakery item for my technician, to wish her a speedy recovery. That was all fine, but about 10 mins after I got home...DARKNESS. With a blink of an eye, it was pitch black. My entire complex had lost electricity. It was so dark inside and outside that I couldn't see 1 inch in front of my face! I struggled and fumbled around for a few minuets, frantic and scared. I tripped over a few things trying to get over to the window and open the blinds to let some light in. Couldn't make it, too dark, couldn't see anything. I kicked something, knocked over something else and almost fell. I began to panic. This was all too terrifying!! I finally got to the window, opened the blinds, but it didn't help. There were no lights coming from anywhere, it was still pitch black.
*heavy breathing *panic *frantic *terrified
I'm bitterly reminded of the fact that I'm most terrified of the dark. Not knowing what or who is there. Not being able to see what is front of me. I've only been through a few blackouts in my life and all were very unpleasant but at least my family was around. But here, I'm >200 miles away from my friends and family, I'm all alone here, I'm defenseless. I have to admit, I broke down a little bit because of how terrified I was. Not going to give too much detail but let's just say there were some tears and the end result was me curled up in a fetal position. After what seemed like 3 days (I'm sure it wasn't that long...) I composed myself and remembered that I left my cell phone somewhere on the kitchen table. Still in pitch black, I felt my way back to the kitchen table and searched with my hands. Searched, searched, searched. When I finally found my phone, I turned on the screen and it offered a low, eerie glow which lighted up the room just enough to make it look like a horror movie. JUST PERFECT right? At that time I remembered that my dad gave me a flashlight ("Just in case Amiee" he said when he gave it to me). "Thank you Dad!" ran through my mind. I remember I stuffed it somewhere in my backpack. Now to retrieve it using my eerie phone monitor as a light source. When I got into my room and found my backpack I started to dig. Dig, dig, dig. Nothing, I couldn't find it! I began to panic and tears were brimming in my eyes again. Questions like "How long is this going to last? Am I going to have to spend the rest of the night like this? Is someone going to take this opportunity to break into my apartment and steal my stuff or murder me? Is my a ghost going to pop out of my walls and kill me???"
Just when I thought all hope is lost, I found my flash light! Before I could even click it on, the lights turned back on. And just like that, my nightmare was over. I don't like to admit how afraid I am of the dark, but I don't think I can deny that last night is going to be added to my top 10 most scariest experiences of my entire life! As pathetic as I sound to some people that may have gone through scarier and more traumatic experiences, it's all relative. Darkness is my Achilles Heel, so being in the dark by MYSELF was super super SUPER terrifying to me and I hope it doesn't happen again!!
To make matters worse, somewhere between all this craziness I tried calling my boyfriend and he wouldn't pick up my phone call because it wasn't after 9pm (when he gets free mins). *rolls eyes I could have been chased by an ax murder or be on my death bed and he refused to pick up the phone to hear my voice for the last time!! Ok, that's a bit over the top and exaggerated because I wasn't getting sawed in half or dying, but it would have still been nice for him to pick up the phone to make sure I'm ok and safe. Geez.
Patient Encounters:
Here are a couple of interesting patient encounters from today I'd like to share:
Patient #1 (P1): How old are you?
Me: 27
P1: You look like a little kid
Me: um...thanks?
P1: You're not married?
Me: Nope
P1: What are you waiting for? Time's ticking! You need to find yourself someone! You don't want to be like Halle Berry and have her first child when you are 47. You figure the kid will stay in your house until at least 18, let's round up to 20, so that means she's going to be 67 by the time the kid leaves her house. Is that what you want to happen to you? Do you want to be 67 before your child leaves your house??
Me: No sir.
P1: Good, now go find yourself a man and get married. Are you engaged?
Me: No
P1: Go find yourself a boyfriend!
Me: I have a boyfriend
P1: Good! Go hassle him to get married! You're not getting any younger! Come on!
Me: My mom reminds me that everyday
P1: Go, get on the phone with him and tell him you two need to get married and start a family right now
Me: ok...I'll get it on it, let me add that to the list of things I want to talk to him about tonight
P1: Good.....so you really 27? You look like a little kid.
Patient #2 (P2): Are you Korean?
Me: No. Do I look Korean to you?
P2: I don't know, I'm not very good at telling if someone's Korean or...whatever that other country is....Taiwan? Am I saying that right?
Me: Yes
P2: So are you Taiwan?
Me: No, Taiwan's the country, I think you mean Taiwanese.
P2: So you are Taiwanese?
Me: No, I'm Chinese
P2: OH!! *tries to speak Mandarin
Me: I don't know what you're saying, I'm sorry
P2: You are Chinese and you can't speak Chinese?
Me: No, I'm sorry, let's resume your exam shall we?
P2: Are you born here?
Me: No, I'm born in China
P2: Where in China?
Me: 2 hours away from Hong Kong
P2: OH, I know Hong Kong
Me: Yes, you and the rest of the world I'm sure has heard of Hong Kong.
P2: You are born in China and you can't speak Chinese?
Me: NO. Let's start the exam.
Patient #3: Where's your license? I don't see it on the wall. Are you sure you are a doctor?
Me: Yes
P3: But you look so young, are you a resident or a student?
Me: No
P3: Are you sure? You can tell me.
Me: NO.
Patient #4: I've been married twice. The first marriage fell apart, it wasn't great at all. The second marriage was great. I met her at work. She was my boss' daughter actually. When I met her, she was with her first husband. Terrible guy. He would beat the sh*t out of her if she was 5 mins late getting home. So she left him and we got married. It was wonderful. Until I lost her 18 years ago. She fought the cancer battle, she lost. But I think it's for the best anyway, it was really getting the best of her. The cancer spread and it was all long her lymph nodes along her neck, her lower jaw, her gums, teeth...everything. She had to take out her lymph nodes on her neck, her entire lower jaw line. She had to have so many reconstructive surgeries using cadavers. But after a year, it deteriorated and she had to get surgery again, and around the same time, the cancer came back. Her teeth turned all black and we decided it was time to stop cutting her open and just let her go. I had to pull the plug on her. It was really tough. I mean, if it was up to me, I would have done anything to keep her alive, but she was just in so much pain. It was for her own good. There isn't a single moment that I don't miss her. She was so special to me. She was there to support me through everything that I did. *starts to tear up* I do really miss her. I wish we had more time together.......*tears up*............and this is exactly why you need to get married and find someone that makes you feel that way. Life is short, go out and make it worth something.
Through the years, I've been hassled numerous times to get married and find that special someone from so many patients, but this is surely the most convincing argument anyone has ever given me. It does really make me realize how short life is and how I should seize the day. This story also reminded me of a special friend that is also going through her own battle with health. I'm sorry I can't be there for you physically, but I'm here for you in other ways. I'll always be there to support you when you need it. Don't hesitate to call, text, gchat or skype me. *Big hugs*
Darkness:
After I stopped blogging last night, I went out and got a "get well card" and a bakery item for my technician, to wish her a speedy recovery. That was all fine, but about 10 mins after I got home...DARKNESS. With a blink of an eye, it was pitch black. My entire complex had lost electricity. It was so dark inside and outside that I couldn't see 1 inch in front of my face! I struggled and fumbled around for a few minuets, frantic and scared. I tripped over a few things trying to get over to the window and open the blinds to let some light in. Couldn't make it, too dark, couldn't see anything. I kicked something, knocked over something else and almost fell. I began to panic. This was all too terrifying!! I finally got to the window, opened the blinds, but it didn't help. There were no lights coming from anywhere, it was still pitch black.
*heavy breathing *panic *frantic *terrified
I'm bitterly reminded of the fact that I'm most terrified of the dark. Not knowing what or who is there. Not being able to see what is front of me. I've only been through a few blackouts in my life and all were very unpleasant but at least my family was around. But here, I'm >200 miles away from my friends and family, I'm all alone here, I'm defenseless. I have to admit, I broke down a little bit because of how terrified I was. Not going to give too much detail but let's just say there were some tears and the end result was me curled up in a fetal position. After what seemed like 3 days (I'm sure it wasn't that long...) I composed myself and remembered that I left my cell phone somewhere on the kitchen table. Still in pitch black, I felt my way back to the kitchen table and searched with my hands. Searched, searched, searched. When I finally found my phone, I turned on the screen and it offered a low, eerie glow which lighted up the room just enough to make it look like a horror movie. JUST PERFECT right? At that time I remembered that my dad gave me a flashlight ("Just in case Amiee" he said when he gave it to me). "Thank you Dad!" ran through my mind. I remember I stuffed it somewhere in my backpack. Now to retrieve it using my eerie phone monitor as a light source. When I got into my room and found my backpack I started to dig. Dig, dig, dig. Nothing, I couldn't find it! I began to panic and tears were brimming in my eyes again. Questions like "How long is this going to last? Am I going to have to spend the rest of the night like this? Is someone going to take this opportunity to break into my apartment and steal my stuff or murder me? Is my a ghost going to pop out of my walls and kill me???"
Just when I thought all hope is lost, I found my flash light! Before I could even click it on, the lights turned back on. And just like that, my nightmare was over. I don't like to admit how afraid I am of the dark, but I don't think I can deny that last night is going to be added to my top 10 most scariest experiences of my entire life! As pathetic as I sound to some people that may have gone through scarier and more traumatic experiences, it's all relative. Darkness is my Achilles Heel, so being in the dark by MYSELF was super super SUPER terrifying to me and I hope it doesn't happen again!!
To make matters worse, somewhere between all this craziness I tried calling my boyfriend and he wouldn't pick up my phone call because it wasn't after 9pm (when he gets free mins). *rolls eyes I could have been chased by an ax murder or be on my death bed and he refused to pick up the phone to hear my voice for the last time!! Ok, that's a bit over the top and exaggerated because I wasn't getting sawed in half or dying, but it would have still been nice for him to pick up the phone to make sure I'm ok and safe. Geez.
Patient Encounters:
Here are a couple of interesting patient encounters from today I'd like to share:
Patient #1 (P1): How old are you?
Me: 27
P1: You look like a little kid
Me: um...thanks?
P1: You're not married?
Me: Nope
P1: What are you waiting for? Time's ticking! You need to find yourself someone! You don't want to be like Halle Berry and have her first child when you are 47. You figure the kid will stay in your house until at least 18, let's round up to 20, so that means she's going to be 67 by the time the kid leaves her house. Is that what you want to happen to you? Do you want to be 67 before your child leaves your house??
Me: No sir.
P1: Good, now go find yourself a man and get married. Are you engaged?
Me: No
P1: Go find yourself a boyfriend!
Me: I have a boyfriend
P1: Good! Go hassle him to get married! You're not getting any younger! Come on!
Me: My mom reminds me that everyday
P1: Go, get on the phone with him and tell him you two need to get married and start a family right now
Me: ok...I'll get it on it, let me add that to the list of things I want to talk to him about tonight
P1: Good.....so you really 27? You look like a little kid.
Patient #2 (P2): Are you Korean?
Me: No. Do I look Korean to you?
P2: I don't know, I'm not very good at telling if someone's Korean or...whatever that other country is....Taiwan? Am I saying that right?
Me: Yes
P2: So are you Taiwan?
Me: No, Taiwan's the country, I think you mean Taiwanese.
P2: So you are Taiwanese?
Me: No, I'm Chinese
P2: OH!! *tries to speak Mandarin
Me: I don't know what you're saying, I'm sorry
P2: You are Chinese and you can't speak Chinese?
Me: No, I'm sorry, let's resume your exam shall we?
P2: Are you born here?
Me: No, I'm born in China
P2: Where in China?
Me: 2 hours away from Hong Kong
P2: OH, I know Hong Kong
Me: Yes, you and the rest of the world I'm sure has heard of Hong Kong.
P2: You are born in China and you can't speak Chinese?
Me: NO. Let's start the exam.
Patient #3: Where's your license? I don't see it on the wall. Are you sure you are a doctor?
Me: Yes
P3: But you look so young, are you a resident or a student?
Me: No
P3: Are you sure? You can tell me.
Me: NO.
Patient #4: I've been married twice. The first marriage fell apart, it wasn't great at all. The second marriage was great. I met her at work. She was my boss' daughter actually. When I met her, she was with her first husband. Terrible guy. He would beat the sh*t out of her if she was 5 mins late getting home. So she left him and we got married. It was wonderful. Until I lost her 18 years ago. She fought the cancer battle, she lost. But I think it's for the best anyway, it was really getting the best of her. The cancer spread and it was all long her lymph nodes along her neck, her lower jaw, her gums, teeth...everything. She had to take out her lymph nodes on her neck, her entire lower jaw line. She had to have so many reconstructive surgeries using cadavers. But after a year, it deteriorated and she had to get surgery again, and around the same time, the cancer came back. Her teeth turned all black and we decided it was time to stop cutting her open and just let her go. I had to pull the plug on her. It was really tough. I mean, if it was up to me, I would have done anything to keep her alive, but she was just in so much pain. It was for her own good. There isn't a single moment that I don't miss her. She was so special to me. She was there to support me through everything that I did. *starts to tear up* I do really miss her. I wish we had more time together.......*tears up*............and this is exactly why you need to get married and find someone that makes you feel that way. Life is short, go out and make it worth something.
Through the years, I've been hassled numerous times to get married and find that special someone from so many patients, but this is surely the most convincing argument anyone has ever given me. It does really make me realize how short life is and how I should seize the day. This story also reminded me of a special friend that is also going through her own battle with health. I'm sorry I can't be there for you physically, but I'm here for you in other ways. I'll always be there to support you when you need it. Don't hesitate to call, text, gchat or skype me. *Big hugs*
Monday, October 7, 2013
Stress, Stress, Stress and Even MORE Stress!
Hello Reader :)
I had the craziest, most stressful morning today! I get to work usually around 7:30 every day because I like to prepare my exam room, prep my electronic medical charts, and review all my patients for the day again (I say "again" because I reviewed them the day before). So, just like every other morning, I got myself ready and went to work. Today I got there earlier than usual because after a weekend, I wasn't completely sure if I had chart reviewed my Monday patients last Friday so I just wanted more time for myself to review all my charts before I started the day off. Well...guess what....the computers were down this morning. Does that mean they were broken or something? No......they still turn on, but there was no network and no internet, so they mind as well be broken.
I couldn't check email, no electronic medical charts to review, I couldn't even see how many or what patients I had today, I just sat there until 8am, hoping my first patient wouldn't show up. But of course, no dice, my patient shows up. I felt so helpless. I didn't know anything about this person. I didn't know if they have been seen before, if they had major issues that I should be following up on, I didn't even know what they were here for (i.e. general exam or something specific)! This must have been how cavemen doctor's ran their clinic because I just grabbed a piece of paper and started my exam.
I imagine it was just as awkward for me to conduct the exam as it was for the patient. Awkward for me, because I sound like I don't know anything about their medical history and look inadequate and unprepared. Awkward for them because they don't know anything about their own medical record and look ridiculously under educated.
Me: Hi, sorry, you are going to have to bare with me, the computers are down today, so I don't know anything about you, can you fill me in on some details? Are you a new patient? Have you been here before?
Patient: I've been here many many years.
Me: Oh, ok...well, do you have any previous diseases that I should be following up on?
Patient: I don't know.
Me: Are you on any medications for any diseases?
Patient: I don't know. I might be taking something for that one thing...hmmm...
Me: o_O.....*waits
Patient: ...........I don't know.
Me: Ok.....well then, when was the last time we've seen you?
Patient: 4-5 years ago
Me: I thought you've been seeing us for many many years...?
Patient: Oh, I thought you meant if you've seen me many many years ago....*chuckles
Me: O_O......Ok, let's move on.....have you had any injuries or surgeries?
Patient: Nope.
Me: Do you have diabetes?
Patient: Nope.
Me: Ok, let's begin....*begins check up*....so you said you've never had any surgeries before?
Patient: Nope.
Me: So you've never had cataract surgery before?
Patient: Oh...yeah...forgot about that.
Me: O_O
Patient: I have a question for you. How could you tell?
Me: It's obvious, your eyes just sparkle more than normal eyes.
Patient: Oh! I noticed that when I look in the mirror too! My eyes are really sparkly! I thought I was just special!
Me: O_O
So long story short, talking to patients give you NO information WHATSOEVER. I basically had to just do the exam and find everything out for myself. This is crazy. What happened to common decency of just knowing about your own health and what medications you take?? Why do people not know if they have had any previously diagnosed diseases? Why do people forget they've had surgery?? Why do people not remember what medications they're on?? Aren't they taking these meds everyday?? This is CRAZY!
So I digress. Halfway through the morning, when I realize I'm DYING from trying to run exams on sheets of white paper (not knowing if my findings are new or old, if this is an acute emergency or just a chronic condition), I realized that my technician is still not at work yet. So I text her and find out that she was in the hospital last night and called in sick today. I was really worried about her but I really didn't have time to think about it since I was drowning in patients. I had a few dire cases that I had to do auxiliary testing on them (which normally my tech helps out with) so since she wasn't here, I had to run the tests myself. So basically, I was the doctor and the technician today.
What topped the whole crazy, busy morning off was that I actually had a patient with an emergency today. I found something CRAZY going on and he needed attention STAT. So normally, if I had the time, I would call somebody at the main hospital (>400miles away) and discuss this case with them. But of course, being super busy, very behind, and super stressed out, I just sent the patient home and told him "someone will get in touch with you about your DIRE medical condition that needs IMMEDIATE attention." Ha, funny. "Go home and wait." That's exactly what you want to hear when you have a emergency medical condition.
So after a morning of craziness, the computers finally came back up during lunch time, which meant, I had to transfer all my findings from paper to computer. That took my entire lunch time do, because, don't forget, I had to make an emergency call to the medical center and get some immediate medical attention for my patient. After an hour of busily translating my random chicken scratch notes into medical notes and calling people, I finished at 1pm. Just in time to see my afternoon patients. Wonderful.
Just to go back to my "random chicken scratch notes," I am not exaggerating! I seriously had random things written everywhere. Out of order, just scribble quickly in random places, unorganized, incomplete....it was terrible! I had the hardest time trying to call what I saw in each patient because I didn't take good enough notes and the notes that I did write were apparently not legible.
The only thing that made my morning better was a few comments a few patients gave me:
Patient #1: I heard you were really good.
Me: Thank you. From who?
Patient #1: There were a few guys sitting out in the waiting area that saw you before and they all said you were really good
Me: awwww :)
Patient #2: This is the best, most thorough exam I've ever had, you are very good.
Me: aww thank you.
Patient #2: Oh...and you are very nice
Me: awww, thanks, I try :)
Patient #3: You did a great job, thank you so much.
Me: awww, you're welcome.
I guess at the end of the crazy, stressful day, it's..........
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get my tech a "get well soon" cake. She's coming back to work tomorrow.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Hello (again)!
Salutations everyone!
I'm BACK, due to popular demand!!! And by popular, I mean ONE devoted friend/fan that actually likes to read my blog and cares about what I rant about :) This is for you... <3
Can you believe it's been 10 months since I've blogged? I can't say why I stopped blogging...maybe my life actually got busy and interesting so I didn't have time to blog! Now that it's back to being slow and boring, I guess I have time to blog again....so essentially I think that means not blogging is probably a better thing. The other possibility is that I just got lazy. I even stopped yelping :( I know, bad me. But I'd like to think I stopped blogging because of the first reason and not the second...even though I think it's mainly the second.
Let's play catch up! There's so much to update you on!
Since January....hmmm...what's happened since then?
Dating Adventures:
Well, around January, I met this guy that I dated for about 3 months. Now I know what you are thinking, three months...so what? But this was really different, it got really serious, REALLY FAST. Now you probably know, I'm ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT and getting that RING, but this was a little too much commitment, TOO FAST, even for me. Anyways, I met his parents and he met mine, attending a graduation, endless planning for a wedding and a life together, he moved away for work and I ended things. It was really tough, just because he was so devoted to me (and I think really adored me) but I had to do it. It just didn't feel right! I felt suffocated and smothered. My mom does plenty of that, I don't need someone else doing that to me too! OH THE IRONY!! I always felt so neglected in my last relationship that I always thought I would be happy with someone that smothers and suffocates me....guess not. It turns out that you don't always know what you want. IRONY.
So I digress.
Near of end of this crazy/serious relationship...meaning, it WASN'T over yet...I started talking to my EX again. Now don't get me, HE called ME! I wasn't the one that reached out and contacted him. But I guess I could have done a better job of implementing some sort "friendship distance" between us so we didn't get so close. I ended up talking to him every night and it got to the point I felt like we were dating. But that's weird because I was already dating someone else. Even though that relationship was on the rocks, STILL, I was dating someone else. So...try not to overstep the boundaries of ADULTERY (is it even considered that when you aren't married?), I confronted my ex one night and asked him why we were talking so much each night and what he was trying to get out of this. I expected him to say "just wanted to be good friends again" but what came out was very different. "I want to date you again, I want to get back together" WHOA! Where did that come from?? And just like that. BAM! ADULTERY!
So at that point, I had to decide, who am I going to chose? An ex that has repeatedly hurt me over and over and over again, or a new guy that adores me but suffocates/smothers me? I know, neither optioned looked that great, but that was all I had. You would think I would go with the new guy and just try to work things out and see how it goes...but no, I broke things off with him and then jumped back in a dysfunctional relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I know, crazy.
So far, it's been tough, because we are long distance, but it's been ok. Considering our dating history and how rocky it was, it's been really good so far. This is probably our best run. He hasn't cheated on me, he's committed (or seems so anyway), he actually seems like he wants to be in a relationship with me and likes me...I'd say those are all really good things so far. The only downfall....LONG DISTANCE! To see each other, I practically have to travel a WHOLE day to get to him. And he hasn't even came to visit me yet (since he thinks his work is WAY more demanding, so I always have to go to him). It's a day long of renting a car, driving 3 hours, getting to the airport, since there are no direct flights, I always have to take TWO flights with a long layaway in between, so the plane rides take like 5-6hours!! It's quiet an adventure getting to him. I've done it like 3 or 4 times now? It's making me really hate travelling. HATE it.
But like I said, aside from this crazy travelling to get to each other, it's been good so far. No complaints in the love life aspect (FINALLY!).
Hong Kong Aunt:
So when I studied abroad in HK, my mom contacted this long lost friend that lives in HK to take care of me during my time there. *rolls eyes* I know, that's how my mom is...overly protective. Anyways, I ended up getting pretty close to my mom's friend and I call her my HK Aunt. She's really cool, she doesn't have any kids, so I feel like she pseudo-adopted me as her daughter. Which I wouldn't mind, because she's so cool. She lost her husband shortly after I left HK, but she found a BF (very fast....kinda fishy....) and now they live together. So the reason I'm digging up this history is because she came to visit earlier this year in April! It was AMAZING! I was so happy to see her again and vise versa! I brought her around LA and SD. I even took her Universal Studios! It was great! I really enjoyed seeing her again. She made me download this WeChat app on my phone so we can talk to each other. It's almost like text messaging, but you can record your voice. That works out for us because she can't read English and I can't read Chinese so voice recording is the solution! I really like it, I "chat" with her all the time. I'm glad I have some way to keep in contact with her :)
After Residency
I think I might kind of being going out of chronological order, but bare with me, I have a lot of grounds to cover. So I finally finished residency this year...graduated...sad goodbyes and moved out of my LA apartment. Before I graduated, I accepted a job offer and was really excited about it. So I packed up my life (again) and moved out into the middle of nowhere, a desert in the middle of nowhere, to be exact. I really didn't think much of it when I accepted the job offer. I was just happy to have a job and to get paid. I didn't even consider other things like if I would like this place I'm moving to or what the quality of my life would be here. Lesson learned.......I should have considered those things.
Don't get me wrong, this job is great, I have good benefits, everyone at the clinic is great and really nice, but I'm in the middle of nowhere, I have no car, I have no friends here, I feel like I got dropped off here to die. Well, maybe not die but at least to wither and wallow away. I don't know what makes me so depressed here. Is it that it's >100 deg outside and I have to stay inside so I don't suffer a heat stroke? Is it because I have no friends here to hang out with or do anything? Is it because there's nothing to do here so even if I had friends we wouldn't be doing anything? Is it that I don't have a car so I can't even drive out to meet up with friends (if I had some) or go home on weekends to escape the heat here? Is it because my apartment creeps me out and gives me the heebee jeebees? Is it because I have a 24hr fitness gym membership but the closest 24hr fitness is 3 hours away? Is it because there's no Ikea, Trader Joes, or Costco here? I don't know.....maybe it's a combination of ALL those things!! I never actually thought I'd say this, but I do miss LA and the life I had in LA. Yes, traffic sucked there but at least I had friends, places to go, things to do, I had a life. Now look at me, on days that I don't go to work, I don't even leave my apartment. I could just not shower, lay on my couch, watch TV all day, and eat...just let myself go. Who cares, there's no one to see, I'm not going outside! So what if I smell, not a big deal, no one to impress. My boyfriend is >500miles away. That's basically my mentally on weekends. So thank goodness I have to go to work and keep up with hygiene...or else I'd probably be 500lbs and smelly.
Weekends:
Now hearing about how I pass my weekends here in the middle of nowhere...it's understandable that I try not to stay here as much as I can possibly help it. A few weekends ago, I got to go to Phoenix with my bestie and we enjoyed a nice weekend getaway and a Sarah Barellis/One Republic Concert together. It was really nice hanging out together since she lives far away too and we don't always get the chance to hang out together.
On selective weekends, I've been driving home to escape my mundane life here.
Then sometimes, I get to go travel an entire day and visit my boyfriend. He lives in a vibrant city with so much life and excitement! I do love going there. I just came back from an 8 day vacation up there. I know, I know...I just started my job and I took an 8 day vacation up there to visit him. I basically can't take anymore days off for the rest of the year...or may be even the rest of my career here at this clinic. I'm in the negative for annual leave and I'm going to be in the negative for a LONG time! No time off for Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years! Was it worth it? I'd like to think so, or at least I'd like to convince myself I think so. Hahaha. I did have a nice time up there. One of my San Jose Buddies flew up to visit me that weekend too so it was nice seeing him and catching up. He's going to be announcing really HAPPY news soon! I'm very very happy and excited for him!! Can't wait to hear the good news!!! :)
So...this past trip to visit my on again off again boyfriend....it rained EVERY day, but since it's not >100 deg weather, I LOVED it. I was super cold, my shoes were soaked all the time, I didn't get to do very outdoor activities, but I still LOVED it! Because I'm not sweating, alone, and abandoned! :) After a talk down with my boyfriend, he even took 2 days off to spend with me while I was there. Even though most of the time, we were just indoors, watching movies, TV, reading, and cooking, it was still fun to do those things with him. It almost simulated what I would imagine our married to be. And if that's how married life is, it's not too bad. It's a little boring, but that's ok, I'm not that exciting anyway. Simple low key hanging out works for me. Now....all I have to do is escape from this desert prison and I'll be free to live the life I want! All in due time....
Babies:
I hate to admit this, but I think I'm baby crazy. My cousin announced that she was pregnant earlier this year and I think she's due in November? Not sure...not that close with her. But even though I'm totally not that close with her...and I never really even liked her that much, when I found out she was having a baby, I was THRILLED!!!! Can't believe a cute little baby is going to join our extended family!!! I'm so excited!! I was invited to her baby shower this coming weekend (THANK GOD I HAVE A REASON TO GO HOME!) and I went shopping for some baby things yesterday (yes, I actually went outside, but I looked and smelled like crap). I LOVED all the baby stuff!!!! SOOOOO CUTE!!! I wanted to BUY EVERYTHING!!!! I can't wait until I have a baby!!! Then I can smother it with all these cute baby caps, mittens, jumpers, shoes, toys, blankets, EVERYTHING you can possibly think of!!!!
I did this crazy pencil test that predicted I'm going to have TWO daughters and at first I was a little disappointed because I'm Chinese and traditional Chinese people want sons....blah blah blah, but I looked at all the baby stuff yesterday and all the baby girl things were SOOOOO much cuter than the baby boy stuff, so I think I'm cool with baby girls!!! And that way they can share clothes, hair/make up tips and be SUPER close to each other!!! It's going to be great! I have my expectations set SO high right now...I should probably lower them to realistic standards but I'm SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW!! BABIES!!!
Alright...probably not the best way to end this blog...on the high note that I'm crazy for babies and I have unrealistic expectations of what life is going to be like when I'm a mother...but I think I'm all blogged out for now. I promise I will update more often so there will be more JUICY details and not just general overviews of things. I do LOVE writing about my interesting patient encounters, so stay tuned for that. So far, most of my interesting tid bits with my patients are their sincere PLEAS begging me to stay and not leave this place. Most of my patients tell me that most doctors leave here after a year because they don't like it here. Hmm....I wonder why.......Sometimes I tell my patients "everyone looks great, I'll see you in a year for your annual exam!" and then secretly in my head, I'm thinking "will I even be here in a year?" I don't know, I don't want to jump ship so quickly, but I'm really not having a party out here. As in the words of popular Broadway musical: Annie, "It's a hard knock life for me" out here.
Wow, I written quite an essay, hope you enjoyed reading it, my one blogging fan :)
I'm BACK, due to popular demand!!! And by popular, I mean ONE devoted friend/fan that actually likes to read my blog and cares about what I rant about :) This is for you... <3
Can you believe it's been 10 months since I've blogged? I can't say why I stopped blogging...maybe my life actually got busy and interesting so I didn't have time to blog! Now that it's back to being slow and boring, I guess I have time to blog again....so essentially I think that means not blogging is probably a better thing. The other possibility is that I just got lazy. I even stopped yelping :( I know, bad me. But I'd like to think I stopped blogging because of the first reason and not the second...even though I think it's mainly the second.
Let's play catch up! There's so much to update you on!
Since January....hmmm...what's happened since then?
Dating Adventures:
Well, around January, I met this guy that I dated for about 3 months. Now I know what you are thinking, three months...so what? But this was really different, it got really serious, REALLY FAST. Now you probably know, I'm ALL ABOUT COMMITMENT and getting that RING, but this was a little too much commitment, TOO FAST, even for me. Anyways, I met his parents and he met mine, attending a graduation, endless planning for a wedding and a life together, he moved away for work and I ended things. It was really tough, just because he was so devoted to me (and I think really adored me) but I had to do it. It just didn't feel right! I felt suffocated and smothered. My mom does plenty of that, I don't need someone else doing that to me too! OH THE IRONY!! I always felt so neglected in my last relationship that I always thought I would be happy with someone that smothers and suffocates me....guess not. It turns out that you don't always know what you want. IRONY.
So I digress.
Near of end of this crazy/serious relationship...meaning, it WASN'T over yet...I started talking to my EX again. Now don't get me, HE called ME! I wasn't the one that reached out and contacted him. But I guess I could have done a better job of implementing some sort "friendship distance" between us so we didn't get so close. I ended up talking to him every night and it got to the point I felt like we were dating. But that's weird because I was already dating someone else. Even though that relationship was on the rocks, STILL, I was dating someone else. So...try not to overstep the boundaries of ADULTERY (is it even considered that when you aren't married?), I confronted my ex one night and asked him why we were talking so much each night and what he was trying to get out of this. I expected him to say "just wanted to be good friends again" but what came out was very different. "I want to date you again, I want to get back together" WHOA! Where did that come from?? And just like that. BAM! ADULTERY!
So at that point, I had to decide, who am I going to chose? An ex that has repeatedly hurt me over and over and over again, or a new guy that adores me but suffocates/smothers me? I know, neither optioned looked that great, but that was all I had. You would think I would go with the new guy and just try to work things out and see how it goes...but no, I broke things off with him and then jumped back in a dysfunctional relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I know, crazy.
So far, it's been tough, because we are long distance, but it's been ok. Considering our dating history and how rocky it was, it's been really good so far. This is probably our best run. He hasn't cheated on me, he's committed (or seems so anyway), he actually seems like he wants to be in a relationship with me and likes me...I'd say those are all really good things so far. The only downfall....LONG DISTANCE! To see each other, I practically have to travel a WHOLE day to get to him. And he hasn't even came to visit me yet (since he thinks his work is WAY more demanding, so I always have to go to him). It's a day long of renting a car, driving 3 hours, getting to the airport, since there are no direct flights, I always have to take TWO flights with a long layaway in between, so the plane rides take like 5-6hours!! It's quiet an adventure getting to him. I've done it like 3 or 4 times now? It's making me really hate travelling. HATE it.
But like I said, aside from this crazy travelling to get to each other, it's been good so far. No complaints in the love life aspect (FINALLY!).
Hong Kong Aunt:
So when I studied abroad in HK, my mom contacted this long lost friend that lives in HK to take care of me during my time there. *rolls eyes* I know, that's how my mom is...overly protective. Anyways, I ended up getting pretty close to my mom's friend and I call her my HK Aunt. She's really cool, she doesn't have any kids, so I feel like she pseudo-adopted me as her daughter. Which I wouldn't mind, because she's so cool. She lost her husband shortly after I left HK, but she found a BF (very fast....kinda fishy....) and now they live together. So the reason I'm digging up this history is because she came to visit earlier this year in April! It was AMAZING! I was so happy to see her again and vise versa! I brought her around LA and SD. I even took her Universal Studios! It was great! I really enjoyed seeing her again. She made me download this WeChat app on my phone so we can talk to each other. It's almost like text messaging, but you can record your voice. That works out for us because she can't read English and I can't read Chinese so voice recording is the solution! I really like it, I "chat" with her all the time. I'm glad I have some way to keep in contact with her :)
After Residency
I think I might kind of being going out of chronological order, but bare with me, I have a lot of grounds to cover. So I finally finished residency this year...graduated...sad goodbyes and moved out of my LA apartment. Before I graduated, I accepted a job offer and was really excited about it. So I packed up my life (again) and moved out into the middle of nowhere, a desert in the middle of nowhere, to be exact. I really didn't think much of it when I accepted the job offer. I was just happy to have a job and to get paid. I didn't even consider other things like if I would like this place I'm moving to or what the quality of my life would be here. Lesson learned.......I should have considered those things.
Don't get me wrong, this job is great, I have good benefits, everyone at the clinic is great and really nice, but I'm in the middle of nowhere, I have no car, I have no friends here, I feel like I got dropped off here to die. Well, maybe not die but at least to wither and wallow away. I don't know what makes me so depressed here. Is it that it's >100 deg outside and I have to stay inside so I don't suffer a heat stroke? Is it because I have no friends here to hang out with or do anything? Is it because there's nothing to do here so even if I had friends we wouldn't be doing anything? Is it that I don't have a car so I can't even drive out to meet up with friends (if I had some) or go home on weekends to escape the heat here? Is it because my apartment creeps me out and gives me the heebee jeebees? Is it because I have a 24hr fitness gym membership but the closest 24hr fitness is 3 hours away? Is it because there's no Ikea, Trader Joes, or Costco here? I don't know.....maybe it's a combination of ALL those things!! I never actually thought I'd say this, but I do miss LA and the life I had in LA. Yes, traffic sucked there but at least I had friends, places to go, things to do, I had a life. Now look at me, on days that I don't go to work, I don't even leave my apartment. I could just not shower, lay on my couch, watch TV all day, and eat...just let myself go. Who cares, there's no one to see, I'm not going outside! So what if I smell, not a big deal, no one to impress. My boyfriend is >500miles away. That's basically my mentally on weekends. So thank goodness I have to go to work and keep up with hygiene...or else I'd probably be 500lbs and smelly.
Weekends:
Now hearing about how I pass my weekends here in the middle of nowhere...it's understandable that I try not to stay here as much as I can possibly help it. A few weekends ago, I got to go to Phoenix with my bestie and we enjoyed a nice weekend getaway and a Sarah Barellis/One Republic Concert together. It was really nice hanging out together since she lives far away too and we don't always get the chance to hang out together.
On selective weekends, I've been driving home to escape my mundane life here.
Then sometimes, I get to go travel an entire day and visit my boyfriend. He lives in a vibrant city with so much life and excitement! I do love going there. I just came back from an 8 day vacation up there. I know, I know...I just started my job and I took an 8 day vacation up there to visit him. I basically can't take anymore days off for the rest of the year...or may be even the rest of my career here at this clinic. I'm in the negative for annual leave and I'm going to be in the negative for a LONG time! No time off for Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years! Was it worth it? I'd like to think so, or at least I'd like to convince myself I think so. Hahaha. I did have a nice time up there. One of my San Jose Buddies flew up to visit me that weekend too so it was nice seeing him and catching up. He's going to be announcing really HAPPY news soon! I'm very very happy and excited for him!! Can't wait to hear the good news!!! :)
So...this past trip to visit my on again off again boyfriend....it rained EVERY day, but since it's not >100 deg weather, I LOVED it. I was super cold, my shoes were soaked all the time, I didn't get to do very outdoor activities, but I still LOVED it! Because I'm not sweating, alone, and abandoned! :) After a talk down with my boyfriend, he even took 2 days off to spend with me while I was there. Even though most of the time, we were just indoors, watching movies, TV, reading, and cooking, it was still fun to do those things with him. It almost simulated what I would imagine our married to be. And if that's how married life is, it's not too bad. It's a little boring, but that's ok, I'm not that exciting anyway. Simple low key hanging out works for me. Now....all I have to do is escape from this desert prison and I'll be free to live the life I want! All in due time....
Babies:
I hate to admit this, but I think I'm baby crazy. My cousin announced that she was pregnant earlier this year and I think she's due in November? Not sure...not that close with her. But even though I'm totally not that close with her...and I never really even liked her that much, when I found out she was having a baby, I was THRILLED!!!! Can't believe a cute little baby is going to join our extended family!!! I'm so excited!! I was invited to her baby shower this coming weekend (THANK GOD I HAVE A REASON TO GO HOME!) and I went shopping for some baby things yesterday (yes, I actually went outside, but I looked and smelled like crap). I LOVED all the baby stuff!!!! SOOOOO CUTE!!! I wanted to BUY EVERYTHING!!!! I can't wait until I have a baby!!! Then I can smother it with all these cute baby caps, mittens, jumpers, shoes, toys, blankets, EVERYTHING you can possibly think of!!!!
I did this crazy pencil test that predicted I'm going to have TWO daughters and at first I was a little disappointed because I'm Chinese and traditional Chinese people want sons....blah blah blah, but I looked at all the baby stuff yesterday and all the baby girl things were SOOOOO much cuter than the baby boy stuff, so I think I'm cool with baby girls!!! And that way they can share clothes, hair/make up tips and be SUPER close to each other!!! It's going to be great! I have my expectations set SO high right now...I should probably lower them to realistic standards but I'm SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW!! BABIES!!!
Alright...probably not the best way to end this blog...on the high note that I'm crazy for babies and I have unrealistic expectations of what life is going to be like when I'm a mother...but I think I'm all blogged out for now. I promise I will update more often so there will be more JUICY details and not just general overviews of things. I do LOVE writing about my interesting patient encounters, so stay tuned for that. So far, most of my interesting tid bits with my patients are their sincere PLEAS begging me to stay and not leave this place. Most of my patients tell me that most doctors leave here after a year because they don't like it here. Hmm....I wonder why.......Sometimes I tell my patients "everyone looks great, I'll see you in a year for your annual exam!" and then secretly in my head, I'm thinking "will I even be here in a year?" I don't know, I don't want to jump ship so quickly, but I'm really not having a party out here. As in the words of popular Broadway musical: Annie, "It's a hard knock life for me" out here.
Wow, I written quite an essay, hope you enjoyed reading it, my one blogging fan :)
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