The Perfect French Macaroon

During this weekend I got to feel my cousin's belly. Let me explain, this is not in a weird, incestuous way....it's because she's pregnant and the baby was moving around in her tummy. It was so weird feeling it move. I thought it was always really magical but when I felt it move, it felt very unnatural. Almost like an alien was inside of her waiting to be hatched so it can come out and take over the world!! Ok, maybe not THAT weird, but still WEIRD. Then one of my best friends, whose also pregnant, told me how she likes to feel the baby move in her belly. And that triggered my memory of feeling my cousin's baby and then I got all creeped out again. What does this mean?? Am I not ready to have a baby? Am I not ready to be a mother? Am I not mature enough to handle pregnancy?? Whoa, hold on, that's a lot of grown-up questions and a lot of grown up talk. Maybe I should just take some baby steps and at least get engaged first. I'm not even in a position to be thinking about babies right now. Ok, I just need to chill-lax.

So thought I was exaggerating when I ranted incessantly about how everyone is getting engaged and married left and right but this weekend proved that I'm not all talk! There were TWO engagements and one wedding this past weekend! Both engagements were announced via email instead of facebook. The wedding was public on facebook. I guess we are phasing away from using facebook to announce things now? Or maybe it's a private preview window into their lives before it goes live on facebook for the rest of the world to see!

My reaction is always the same to every engagement and wedding.  I feel bliss and joy as the wish the couple forever happiness. Getting married to me is like finding the delicious filling that brings two French macaron halves together. The halves are nothing without the filling gluing them together. It's so beautiful when two people come together in a binding union, just like a Perfectly Colorful French Macaron. But just as quickly as you can finish eating a macaron, my feelings of bliss and joy are substituted by bitterness and despair as I yearn for the day when I will be the one sending out that glorious wedding bell email! Well.......let's not hold our breath if you are waiting for MY announcement email...it seems very very VERY far in the DISTANT future. Just to be clear, I feel more joy than bitterness...I do...trust me. Ok, let's just leave it at that.

I don't know very many details of what happened for one of the engagements, but it seems like it was done during dinner and a very fancy dessert was shared. The other engagement had many details and play by play photos were shared! When I read about the details, like being woken up at 4am...I was very shocked, Shocked that my friend would even consider waking up that early and shocked that the girl didn't punch him in the face. I really think that if someone woke me up at 4am and made me get ready/get dressed, I'd be really upset and probably throw a giant fit...and maybe a punch or two. I'm very nasty when you wake me up. That's why I wake up before everyone else so I don't have to punch anyone in the face. I'm so considerate :)

Yes, I'm very envious of everyone that has a giant rock on their wedding finger. Very envious. So just when I think all the engagement news is over, I found out on facebook that two of my friends from highschool got married!!! Crazy! I didn't even know they were dating. Wow! Time really does fly. Seeing my two highschool friends made me think about when my 10 year reunion is....NEXT YEAR! OMG! I don't even know if I want to go to my 10 year reunion. I mean, think about it, who would I want to see there that I wouldn't have kept in touch with? And besides, don't people usually go to those things to flaunt about how great their lives are, right? I really have nothing to flaunt. I'm broke, I have a ton of loans, I live in the middle of no where and up until yesterday, I didn't even have a car. So...unless anything big happens.....maybe I'll skip my 10 year reunion. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Back to finding out big news, so skipping past the two engagements and a wedding......I got an email today informing me that my hometown VA is hiring a full time doctor for at LEAST 30% more pay than I am getting now. *jaw drops open* Yes, that was pretty much my response. I can't believe this!!!!!! Yes, let's dangle a really colorful/pretty french macaron in front of my face and tell me not to eat it! Because that's pretty much what's happening right now.

My laugh of the day: So I emailed my boyfriend and told him about the engagements and the VA position. He took the whole day to respond but his response was: "You still have me...." First reaction: I don't know why I thought this response was laugh out loud funny because that's what I did, busted out laughing. Second reaction: "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I think he's serious........that's so sweet". Third reaction: "wait....is he being sarcastic?? Is this a joke? I'm offended". So now, I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel about his response. Confusion?

 The Truth: of course, knowing me, I ranted off to everyone that would listen to me about how it's so unfair that my hometown has a full time position opened with more pay!! Luckily one of the people I ranted off to was my classmate who informed me that he's heard nothing but bad things about that place. Overbearing supervisor, incompetent colleagues and poor relations with other clinics. This made me feel a lot better about not being to apply for that position. I'd probably save more money and be closer to friends/family if I worked in my hometown but I'd probably be miserable at work everyday. I feel a lot better about not applying to work there. When the dust settles, I guess things aren't always what it's cracked up to be. Sorry perfect, beautiful French macaron, you turned out to be 3 months old, stale and very crunchy, so I no longer want you.

Oh my gosh, why did I make food analogies? Now I really want a french macaron and everyone knows I'm NEVER gonna find one here! *sighs