I just couldn't catch a break today. All my patients had crazy things going on! Even the young ones! There were a few cases that I was pretty proud of myself today. There is this patient that went to several doctors complaining about pain and discomfort. Some people diagnosed him with inflammation and most didn't know what to do with him. I was about to just give up on him too, I wasn't sure what was wrong with him. Didn't look infections, didn't look inflammatory, I had no idea! Then I somehow how all these small foreign bodies embedded in this tissue and I got them out! He felt so much better! He's been bothered by this problem for over a year now! That's CRAZY! I had to really dig to get them out and some of them I had to squeeze, like a pimple. Yeah, it was gross. But at the end, he was so happy and thankful that I was able to help him. It's times like these that remind me why I'm doing what I'm doing. :)
I am so cold I can barely move my fingers to type. Brrrr.
We have a new audiologist in our clinic. The old one transferred to another clinic. The new audiologist is really nice. She's an older lady. She's been having a lot of trouble adjusting to the clinic. Figuring out how to organize, figuring out how to work the electronic medical record system and figuring out her schedule. She's probably spending 12+ hours each day seeing patients and getting her stuff together. I get in around 7:15-7:20am everyday and she's already there. I leave around 5:30-6ish everyday and I always leave before her. I feel really bad for her. Instead of swimming, I think she's really sinking. Her office is right next to mine, one day I heard her talking to the Clinic Manager and she broke down and cried. I felt really bad for her but there is really nothing I can do to really help her. She just has to figure things out little by little.
Sometimes my own clinic gets so hectic and backed up, I feel like crying too. There's just so much work to do and no one can help me. There's been a few times I just wanted to walk out and quit. Maybe I just give up too easily. Maybe I just stress out too easily. Maybe I'm just a quitter. I always have all this drive and determination before I start something and then halfway through, I run out of gas and I end up just putting along.
Sometimes I wonder how I make my decisions. Why did I think living 180 miles away from home in the middle of no where, where I know no one, and heading a whole department by myself with no experience sounds like a good idea? Who in the right mind says "yes" to something like that? Not to mention the extreme weather conditions, where it gets to be 120 degrees in the summer and now 40-50's in the winter. I'm freezing right now. Can barely feel my fingers.
I had a guy friend ask me how I can bare to live so far away from my BF. "What's your coping mechanism? Do you just cheat on him?" I laughed but then realized.......wait a min.......what's his coping mechanism? Is he just cheating on me?? I wonder now. We've been talking less. He mentioned that he doesn't want to call me every day anymore. And when we do talk it's like for 5 mins. Oh no...this all sounds so fishy. Maybe I should be worried. But then again.......why? I can't do anything about it. If he cheats, he cheats. And it's not like our track record is that great or anything. We've never even lasted this long. We've always broken up within 1-2 months of dating. Beats me how we've lasted this long. Almost 6 months now. Wow. Surprising how fast time flies.
Did I tell you how I went to visit my new baby nephew? Might not be a nephew. Cousin's baby? I don't know genealogy that well. Anyways, he's really cute. But it was annoying going to her house. I've actually never been to her house since she's moved out with her husband. Her house is one of those "new" homes that are built in one of those "new home communities" that are on top of this hill that overlooks my hometown. It's pretty nice and big. I don't feel like it feels homey though. It feels so lonely and deserted. Maybe because only 3 people live there and one of them is a baby. And there's like a million rooms and a million bathrooms. Too much space to people ratio. Makes the place feel empty. Anyhow, seeing my baby nephew was really nice. I just didn't like how my cousin's husband was treating us. So my family (as in my mom's side of the family) has this theory that my cousin's husband hates us. He probably does. We can be very loud and obnoxious if you are not used to us. Even I chime in to the noise pollution. It's the right of passage into our family. My cousin's husband is from a very quiet and "socialite"-like family. So all this noise and jibber jabbering probably pisses him off to the millionth degree. So naturally, when we showed up, we were super loud. He brought the baby towards us but was mouthing, under his breath, "don't touch, don't touch, don't touch" the whole time. I don't mind if you say that to me or my mom, or whatever, but he was saying it to my grandma the whole time. Ugh. Way to not respect the elders. I love my little grandma. Anyone that messes with her, messes with me. I was instantly put off by his attitude. I don't think I'll ever go back to their house nor will I go see my baby nephew again. Unless they graciously and honestly want me to be there, inviting me into their home with open arms, I'm never going again. I'm actually terrible at holding grudges...we'll see how long this lasts haha.
I'm sure this happens all the time but the more I get to know the people that work at my clinic, the more I realize that they are great people. There really isn't anyone that I've gotten to know at the clinic that I think is really "blah" or "whatever" or not a great person yet. Everyone's very pleasant and has an amazing back story. Whether it be about their family, friends or themselves. And everyone's been through so many life experiences. I'm totally the newbie at the clinic. I feel like I've been really lucky and blessed so far to not have to endure half the traumatic life events that some of my co-workers have been through. There's a lot of Christmas festivities that I'm participating in this week so I really look forward to getting to know more of my co-workers and learning more about their amazing lives.
There's a secret santa going on......I wonder got me. It's going to be interesting. The secret santa starts on Monday and lasts until Thursday. Monday-Wednesday are going to be small gifts ($5) and then Thursday is going to be a BIG gift, like ($20-25). I'm going to have to put my noggin together to think of something good for my person. My tech said she'll help me. She's such a wonderful person. :)
Speaking about her, she told me she's taking these diet pills. She's lost 15lbs in 1 month! It's really effective! She gets them over in Mexico. She doesn't know what's in them but she loves the way she feels with the excess weight shed. I looked them up and it seems like they are an amphetamine derivative. They really do work but there is a high risk addictive potential. They work on your central nervous system to suppress your appetite and increase heart rate. She offered to get me some. I'm considering it...I talked to my BF about it and he thinks I'm crazy. I think mainly because I told him the worst side effect I found was lung and heart issues and most people don't get them. Sometimes you can become irritable, develop insomnia and hallucinate. But my tech has been fine. I'm still considering it...
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