So PRETTY!!

Do you remember my best friend's engagement ring? The one that she wanted to throw away and I took instead because it's REAL white gold? The one that I've been wearing for years and years...and suddenly my coworker told me that there's bad mojo around it so he made me get rid of it. Well, I've been sad for a long long time because I really liked that ring and it's been with me for a while...so I've been looking for a replacement for a long time. But not knowing where to look and not wanting to buy just a cheapo replacement, my finger ended up just being very bare for a long time because I couldn't find anything to replace it. WELL...that all changed this weekend when I met up with my coworker for breakfast and she surprised me with a ring! I was SO EXCITED!! I REALLY like it!! It's real silver so I can wear it all the time, which is how I like jewelry. I don't like to always take things off when I'm showering or washing my hands or whatever. I like to just wear things forever, all the time. Let me see if I can find a picture of it...oh here!

 

IT's simple but not too simple, I love it! It's SO PRETTY!!!  I'm not sure if it's a real pearl in the middle or not, but I'm pretty sure it's real sterling silver. I don't know what the "sterling" part means. Maybe shinnier? I got so excited about it, I called my BF and was just raving about it. He made fun of me (as always) because he said it's like she proposed to me or something since I'm so excited. And then he thought about how excited I am about this plain ring and he was worried about what I would do if I got an engagement ring. I'd probably bounce off the walls lol.

 

I didn't do anything this weekend, I just sat around. And that's how I like it. hahah. I actually wanted to read a little but I think I've lost interest in reading. Or maybe the book I was on was just too boring. This has been a common trend. I am really sucked into the first book, the second book is ok, and by the third book, I'm really not interested in anymore. This is like the Hunger Games series, and now it's happening with the Wildwood series.

 

I just realized that if you come visit me, I'm not sure where you are going to sleep. LoL. I am sleeping on a futon right now, which I don't think is really big enough for two people. I have another couch, but it's not that comfortable. I'm not sure if you want to risk sleeping on the "bed bug" bed. It's been "treated" so it should be ok, but I don't know......but anyways, how's the trip planning coming?

 

You know I'm coming to visit you in Sept right? Did I tell you my BF is coming too?

 

 

Murder on my mind

Hello again!

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've  last blogged but knowing me, I've gone longer times without blogging. Haha.

So I've been having a really hard time falling asleep lately. I'll feel really tired around 8pm and try to power through all my drowsiness and do work until 9pm, then I'll try to sleep. Key word here is TRY. Even though I'm super fatigued and I have a headache from being so sleepy and tired, I can't fall asleep. I think it's because my A/C is on and it makes all these noises which make it sound like someone is walking towards me or trying to break into my apartment and get me or something. The A/C is aimed at the blinds so the blinds are constantly making noise. So all these noises make me open my eyes and check to make sure there isn't someone standing right above me with a knife ready to butcher me into a million pieces. Yes, scary right?!?!

So that's one theory of why I can't sleep. Another one is because I'm constantly stressed out over my students. I'm always studying, looking things up, trying to think of things for them to do to improve, prepping for my weekly presentations, etc etc etc. I'm just always doing something to prep for them. It's been rewarding...but also very stressful. Even when I'm trying to sleep I try to think of things to prepare for tomorrow or things I should know, etc etc.

On top of all that, I've been really obsessed with the OJ Simpson case lately. It's been 20 years since the murder and the trial...I realized this happened the same year my brother was born. So I was really young then and I didn't know all the details, but now there is all this CNN hype about it again and it's attracted my interest again. I've done all this research on it and read up on it and it's just CRAZY how the final verdict was NOT GUILTY. Like, REALY?!?!? Not guilty??? So in the beginning, I thought only Nicole was killed but then I come to find that this other waiter guy was killed too. And then I got really curious about the whole thing. And after digging through all the details, it's CRAZY how the evidence was messed up because DNA testing was so new at that time. There was so much tempering with the evidence and questionable findings due to the lack of understanding in forensic science at that time. I think if this case was tried today, he would have FOR SURE been GUILTY. Come on! He totally did it! So I was reading up on how the police re-created the events of the murder. And most likely OJ came with a knife, with the intentions of killing Nicole. So Nicole probably opened the door for him when he knocked. Then immediately he grabbed her by the hair/head and slammed her onto the floor and started to stab her in the face/head furiously with a 15in knife. The police believed this because Nicole's feet were clean so must have meant her feet never touched the ground. So if you aren't already super creeped out from me describing to you how OJ stabbed her repeatedly in the face with a 15in knife, his last insult to her was predicted to be one foot on her back, grabbing her hair and pulling her up, and slicing her neck almost clean. She was almost decapitated. *shivers

So in all this murder maddness, I guess this waiter got somehow got involved, maybe he was trying to help her? And he got viciously murdered too. Wrong place at the WRONG time. Ultimate example.

So I think it's a combo between being scared that someone's walking towards me and going to knife me, stressed out about students and the whole OJ Simpson murder replaying in my head, is causing me to loose sleep. I have the hardest time falling asleep and even when I do fall asleep, I wake up in the middle of the night. Ugh. I'm like a zombie recently trying to stay awake with coffee.

So what's new with you? Something more normal I hope. LoL.

Quick Updates

How do you feel about the whole prisoner trade off that the President did a few days ago? It's been all over the news. There's a lot of bad press around the soilder that we swapped in exchange for the 5 leaders. I'm really curious to know how everyone feels about this. I've been meaning to discuss it with others but I've been so busy lately, I don't have time to do any of this.

I really thought that having students would mean more time on my hands, but I'm busier than ever!! This is crazy!

It's my tech's birthday today. I got her some gifts, a card and some flowers. I arranged for other people in the clinic to get her balloons and a cake. Mainly because there is NO way I could get all of those things by myself.

I've been feeling super dehydrated lately. I used to only bring 1 water bottle to work, now I've increased it to two. Today I'm bringing in THREE. I don't know, maybe it's the weather here? But I'm indoors all day long. I don't know...maybe the extreme A/C is drying me out? But I'm usually in A/C places in winter or summer? I have no idea. If this trend continues then I might have to hire someone to carry a 5L bottle of water for me and have a water dispenser right next to me at work. I wonder if I can request for one as a medically necessary item...lol.

There's a sale on southwest right now! I'm looking into plane tickets. I would have done it way either but I haven't had time! If I get to it by today, I'll try to see if I can come visit you during a weekend. No promises, don't get your hopes up, I might not get to it in time! Haha.

Eventful morning

I sleep in now because I stay up late to work on things and at 6am this morning someone knocked, pounded and rung my doorbell. Wait a min...now to thinking of it, I didn't even know I had a doorbell...hmm...have to go home and check that out later...anyways, I was woke up....and when I got oriented, I was a little scared. I mean, who pounds at someone's door at 6am?? So I slowly tip toped to the eye hole to see who it was, some guy I didn't recognize. Looked like he was holding an ipad. Probably a delivery guy? I thought about not opening the door but then I thought, what if it's a package for me and I could have gotten it now but instead I "missed" it and have to go through some convoluted way to get it back? So I opened the door, against all better judgement, it was a delivery guy. He was looking for some lady I don't know. I told him she doesn't live here and he was very persistent. Asking over and over again, stating the package was only ordered 1 week ago, so she should be here. I re-stated that she does not live here and closed the door. Tried to fall back asleep, but couldn't. Ugh.

I was getting ready for work, things were fine and dandy. Got ready to leave, opened the door and something flew into my apartment. Ugh!! I had to drop everything and go hunting. I found it, it was a butterfly. Oh, how sad, I had to kill it. Sorry. At times like these, I think my relatives would tell me it's someone, like an ancestor, coming to pay me a visit. Well, sorry, I don't want to accidentally swallow you in my sleep, so I had to squish you. In the future, please don't come visit me in my apartment.

How are things with you?

It's my nightmare all over again!

Sorry our plans to visit each other are falling through. I will talk to my dad this weekend and get a better understanding about his work schedule.

I got in another fight with my BF last night. I know...another. This time it's about our distance apart. He's been bugging me pretty consistently about moving closer to him. I've agreed, but I've set a counter condition, "I will move to you if we are engaged or married". Knowing him, I should have known, but he said he's just not ready for marriage right now, and he's not really ready for an engagement either. So again, we run into our previous problems, he's just not committed to the level that I'm committed. How sad. I keep running into the same pothole and yet, I never learn.

I continued to explain to him that I don't mind moving to him, but I just want some sort of promise before I come that our relationship is solid. An engagement will give me that confidence. Assuming that things work out, then of course, it would be nice for me to move up and start a whole new life up there with him. But what if things don't work out. What if things fall apart like every other time we've tried to date each other? I quit my job and move across the U.S., and we break up, I'd have no job, no money, no insurance, no friends, no support, no place to stay, and a bunch of loans. That doesn't sound like a situation I want to be in. That just sounds plain scary. I'm not in college anymore, I'm not young and spontaneous, I'm mature (older) now. I need to plan and think things through. I can't just abandon everything and not have a back up plan. That's just irresponsible.

I tried to explain my side of the story to my BF but he seemed really defensive and angry. I felt like he didn't want to hear it and only wanted me to conceed to his desires for me to move up. I was a little angry about that, but more hurt than angry. I was so hurt that he wouldn't even stop to consider my situation. Don't get me wrong, I think it makes a lot more sense for me to move up there, I agree, and I'm willing to do it, but I just need a safety net. Is asking to be engaged too demanding of me? I mean, I am leaving everything I've established, everything I know to move over there to be with him. I just need to know it's for real, and I think an engagement would solidify that for me.

He then brought up how he's always hanging out with his friends and being a fifth wheel and how awkward that is for him. He really wants me to move up so he's not a fifth wheel anymore. Then it started to sound threatening when he said that he might start inviting another girl to come along, and if I let too much time pass then maybe he'll start falling for that girl and vise versa, then, it would ruin our relationship. And he talked about how as time passes, he might call me less and we'll talk less. Then we might get tired to travelling so far to see each other all the time. Which at that point, I interjected and said "I am the one that does all the travelling, so you mean I am going to get tired of travelling up there to see you??" He responded with "it's just annoying to see eachother for just a little bit ever so often".

I don't know what to do anymore. My nightmare is happening again! This whole issue of him not committing as much as I'm committed, it's HAPPENING AGAIN!!!!!! Maybe I should just cut my losses with him.

I told my HS friend about this and she agrees with me that he's being selfish and I should totally look out for my interests too.

I told this other guy that I knew in HS that I recently started talking to again, and he agrees with me too and he's a GUY!

I'm very frustrated. And of course, my Ex-BF always happens to gchat me after I've had a fight with my BF. And he's trying to convince me to get out of this relationship. Ugh. I'm lost. Does everyone else have this many problems with their relationships or is it just me???

JCrew

Going back to the doctor today, going to get results from my lab draw last week. I know it's bad news already, so I'm going in with low expectations lol. I already know a few bad things like my iron is low (again!) and my Vit D is low. But I think a few other things were concerning so that's why they wanted me back so soon! Yikes!

Thanks for looking up those JCrew things! That ulgy foral print shirt caught my attention, so I wanted to show you how ugly things are on there lol. I think he's looking for something nicer to wear to work but not too formal. Do you think those last two shirts are nice enough for work but not too formal? I've never been a huge flannel person but I guess that's what people wear nowadays. But I always think of loggers when I think flannel. Like that one logger on those papertowels. Let me know what you think, I don't think I have a budget, as long as it's not like $200 for ONE shirt then it's reasonable. The shirts you showed me were pretty reasonably priced. What do you think?

My head kind of hurts today. I've haven't really been feeling that good. It's always one thing or another. Either my stomach hurts or I have the runs, or BOTH, or my head hurts, or I feel nausea, or I have a headache....ugh, I hope I figure out what's wrong with me soon!

I had this patient yesterday that was acting SUPER weird, here's snit bits of our conversation:

Patient: Are my shoes pink?
Me: um...I think so?
P: They are orange.
Me: ok...
P: The girl that helped me pick these shoes out swears they are orange and not pink
Me: Ok....
P: But they look pink to me right now
Me: Ok....

Patient: Are you married?
Me: no
P: Do you have family here?
Me: no
P: so you are here by yourself?
Me: yes
P: Do you need a Gorilla?
Me: Excuse me??
P: Do you need a Gorilla?
Me: A gorilla?
P: Yeah, I can be your gorilla, I can protect you.
Me: ........?
P: Gorilla, someone to protect you.
Me: No thank you....

Patient: I do a lot of pot, I think it keeps me healthy
Me: *thinks: Wow, that explains a lot!

Haha

Survivor!

Surprise! I survived the night! It was crazy last night! I don't know why my doors and windows were rattling so much. I'd like to say it's because of the wind and maybe mild earthquakes but I really don't know. I was so scared that my door was going to fling open and someone was going to rush in and kill me. Or some ninjas were climbing up my balcony, breaking into my sliding doors and going to slice my throat. Or maybe someone was already hiding in my apartment and waiting for me to fall asleep so they can knife me! It's really scarry living here alone, especially when I have such an active imagination of all the things that could come and kill me.

I bought it!!! The gray purse and that baby blue wallet. Yes, I went for the baby blue one. I'm going to be different. I'm going to have accessories that are NOT black. This is a very bold move for me, but I think I'm getting older, more mature, so I should spice it up a bit. I'm always hobo looking, it's time to change the image. To be honest, I'm probably still going to be hobo looking but just with nicer handbags/wallets now lol. BTW, thanks for talking me through the purchase last night. You were a really big help :) I think there's a semi-annual sale at Nordstrom right now.

Well, let me clarify, I didn't buy the items, actually, my BF did. I spent so long thinking and guilting myself out of the purchase and wavering back and furth, he decided to get it for me. He said it'll be for our anniversay gift. Our 1 year is coming up soon! Since he did such a nice gesture, I think I'm going to have to spill some major dough to get him a nice gift for our anniversay too. He keeps saying that he wants a J Crew shirt, so maybe I'll splurge on one of those. None of the styles really look all that great to me, but he swears the material is really nice...so eh...I'll just have to believe him I guess. I mean, look at this....




Who in the right mind is going to wear this floral print shirt?? Maybe Cam on Modern family...but Byron...no. Well, I think he's looking for a long sleeve shirt, I don't know. I'll think about it later.

So when I browsed the website, I found out that there was a wedding section. I found this dress, I like it!!



I like the top but I'm not that much into the bottom. I think I would do a puffy/princess skirt on the bottom, but I like how the top is cropped. I think it's more conservative than a tube top, but not too conservative. What do you think? Well, anyways,, I'm totally side tracking from looking for a nice anniversary gift for my BF haha

I can't believe my students are coming next week. Seems like it was just yesterday that I was complaining about how far the date seemed to be away, and now it's really quickly approaching. Crazy! I'm really excited but at the same time, I'm scared. I'm afraid I won't be able to teach them anything and hinder their learning. Guess I'll just have to tighten up my clinican skills and knowledge and do my best to teach them everything I know.

Heart Broken

Sorry again for being so MIA. I have been busy...you might ask what, but I can't really answer you. My days always just seem to slip away so quickly. I don't think I'm doing anyting in particular, but a little time working on this and that and then your day is gone. Well, I'm predominately at work most of the day, so that's a huge time killer right there.

How have you been? It seems like you have been more active and going out more. I bet you are going out more than I am! Haha.

I had this fight with my BF two nights ago. I ended up crying for an hour after we hung up. I know what you are thinking..."again?"  Yes...again. We had a fight again.

It all started when I was talking about my brother. Now, anyone that knows the story between my brother and I knows that we were best buddies and SUPER close. It makes me really sad to know that we aren't that way anymore. So of course, from time to time, I'll just talk to my BF about how much I miss my brother and how I wish we were close again. I even talk about how mean he is to me now and how he seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me. He never returns my calls or responds to my messages, and even when I somehow find a way to reach him, he doesn't sound like he wants to talk to me. When we do talk, all he does is yell at me and criticize me. The most recent example I can think of is when we were talking about this Thai place that we ate at. My brother, apparently, really likes that place. But when he brought my mom and I, we didn't really have a good experience because the waitress was really mean to us. She took down our order incorrectly and when we told her, she gritted her teeth and argued that we told her the order wrong. This isn't just me, my mom felt the exact same way. So when we talked about that Thai place, I started mentioning how the waitress was mean. My brother started to immediately attack me. "She's actually a really nice person, YOU were the one that was mean to HER! You don't know when you are mean to people, you always have this terrible attitude, you should be more aware of how you act and treat others!" I was shocked that he said that to me. So I began to doubt myself and I asked my mom about how I treated the waitress and my mom said I was nice and the waitress was the one that was mean to us. Just exactly how I felt. But for some reason, my brother decided to use this to attack me. This isn't the first time. He always turns the situation around and makes me the bad person. I probably shouldn't have done this but I began to ask him more questions about how I was the mean person and he got so upset that he started YELLING in the middle of Ranch 99. Everyone turned around and started looking at us. It was so embarrassing. To be honest, I was so embarrassed I don't even know what my brother was yelling about. I just really wanted him to calm down. So I just walked away and he chased after me and said that I was the one throwing a fit and I was the one that was mad. OMG. It was a disaster!

There was another time we were in the car and I just really want to reconnect with him, so I started to ask him about his life.

me: So how's everything going?
brother: good
me: So how's school?
brother: good
me: Are you working on any projects?
brother: yes
me: what projects?
brother: stuff
me: what's going on with your friends?
brother: nothing *sounding irritated
me: you seem irritated, are you ok?
brother: I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS! YOU KNOW I HATE ANSWERING A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS!
me: I'm sorry, I just wanted to learn more about you and connect with you again...I'm really sorry...I just don't know what's going on with you anymore! We don't even talk, maybe if you didn't answer me in one word answers then I wouldn't have to ask you so many questions!
brother: I HATE ANSWERING QUESTIONS, JUST STOP.

I swear my heart just shattered in a million pieces. Even as I writing about it right now, I'm reliving that memory and tears are brimming in my eyes. I run these memories over and over, again and again, through my mind and all I can ask myself is "how did things get this way?" "why does he hate me so much?" "what have I done wrong?"

Anyways...so back to my BF....so I basically shared this with him and he got super irritated with me. He yelled at me and said "Your brother just doesn't want to talk to you anymore! Just get over it! There isn't anything you can do! Why are you complaining about this? Just stop talking to him, it's not a big deal. Why do you have to complain for like 15mins about this? Five mins, maybe, but 15 is too long! I solve problems all day long at work, I don't want to come home and solve more of your petty problems (he might not have used "petty" but it's something along those lines). You are a big girl now, you don't have to come to me for advise on all your little problems. You should solve your own problems. It's ok if you come to me for your BIG problems, but half the time, you don't even take my advise. It's like you just talk to hear yourself talk or something."

So somewhere in between all that ranting, I was about to burst into tears so I just said I was tired and hung up. Then I cried for an hour until I fell asleep on my pillow. I don't know if I was crying about my brother or if I was crying about my BF. I don't know, am I crazy? Am I just too emotional?

 He called me yesterday and apologized. I just said "thanks" and hung up again. I don't know where to go from here. I'm really hurt by what he said. I'm really hurt by how my brother is treating me. I can't quite get over it.

I talked to my HS friend about it, on gchat, and she says she understands. She knew about how close I was to my brother and she thinks that my response is appropriate. She thinks that my BF should be more considerate of how I'm feeling. But then again, she's my friend, so she's suppose to be on my side right?

I don't know, what do you think?

Airports in the Middle of No Where

I drove John to the airport this morning because he's going to Canada to visit his family for a few days and there was NO ONE. It's seriously the most dead airport I've ever been to. We were the only people there, there were two other cabs there, but there were no passengers. OMG, it's so pathetic. This is when I have to admit that I live in the middle of NO WHERE. Well, at least there is an airport here. It could be worse, it could be like before during rotations where I was stuck in cities without airports and nearest city is really far away.

There's a potluck at work today. As per your recommendations, I just cut up some fruit and brought my juice. I ate very little this morning for breakfast thinking that I would just eat some stuff from the potluck, but I just realized, I'm very overbooked and busy this morning, so I probably won't have time to participate. I probably won't get to eat anything until Lunch time, if there is still food left over. I should have eatten a bigger breakfast.

My BF called me last night and it was a terrible conversation. You know it's not going to be a good convo when your BF starts the convo out by saying "I'm mad at you, do you even know why?" Ugh. I spent most of the 20mins that we were on the phone last night just trying to figure out WHY he was mad at me. Since you are his other half, can you figure out why? The answer was: Because I got mad at him. Ugh. Lame! Anyways, after he revealed that, he just hung up and ended the conversation. What lame convos we have been having lately. -_-

I don't know if I should drive home or not this weekend. I'm leaning towards no but it's Mother's Day. I don't know, I'm really tired. I feel like it's almost not worth it to go home this weekend since I was just there and we already went out for Mother's Day. I think I'm just going to send my mom a card, which she prob won't get until next week. Haha.

So my friend has diagnosed me with a UTI. I'm not sure I really have one but I'm starting to think I do. I might have a few things going on because she said a few of the symptoms don't line up. I don't even have a doctor or have time to go see a doctor. I don't know why, I've been here for >6 months and I still feel like I don't really live here. I don't feel like I have doctors or a good health network support here. I'm glad I'm "young" because if I were older and something was wrong with me, I wouldn't know where to go to get health care. Not to mention, I have the weirdest insurance. This is what happens when you live in the middle of NO WHERE! Why did I think this was a good idea to move here? I don't know. I guess if I'm healthy and nothing is wrong with me, then this place isn't bad. But if I'm not healthy and I need some medical attention, this is not a great place to be for that.

Birthday 2014

Finally! I found some time to blog! I'm sorry I have been neglecting my blog! I just can't find time to write in this thing! I've finally reached this point in my life where I'm so busy I don't have time to spare for extraneous hobbies. I have to make hobby choices. Haha.

So I'm sure you are wondering how this weekend went. I already went into the weekend very grateful so even if nothing happened, I would have still been very happy.

I went home on Friday and we were suppose to go out to dinner for my birthday but I found that no one was dressed when I got home. Everyone was in their PJ's, so I thought we weren't going out for dinner, but then I found out they were just waiting for my brother to get home. So I was excited that my brother was coming home to celebrate with me. I really thought he had forgotten. I mean, come on, no phone call, no text, no fb message, nothing! So why would I even think my brother remembered? But I was very happy to hear that he is did remember and was coming home. So ending up, he came home really late, and we didn't go eat until 8ish? Or maybe even AFTER that. But he came with some baked goods, which were my birthday gift I guess. He had a few small mousse cakes, which looked really pretty! I didn't get to eat them because we ate dinner, and then when I got home, I passed out because I was so tired. Then the next morning I had to wake up early to get on my plane, so I didn't even get to eat them :(

So my dad carved out this really nice looking fruit bowl. He used a honey dew melon and put grapes, blueberries and strawberries inside. It was really really pretty and really nice, but I only got to eat like a little bit of it, because again, time crunch, didn't have time to enjoy everything. But I was very touched that my parents and brother thought of me and made the effort to make me feel special.

So I think a little of my birthday was overshadowed by how my mom fainted and fell when she was hiking. So largely, most of our conversation was about how my mom should probably go see Urgent Care or Emergency Room so she can make sure she wasn't internally bleeding, especially in her BRAIN! But after talking to her, I ruled out any brain bleeds, so it was ok. But she did have a really bad rib ache, which I was thinking she might have broken a rib...but she refused to go to the ER, what can we do?

So I was shipped off to my BF early Saturday morning. I actually ended up talking to these people on the plane. The first plane stopped at Sacramento, where I talked to this one lady, she's a nurse, from my hometown and she was very nice. Going to visit her daughter who went to UC Davis. The second half of the ride, I talked to this guy that was a hairdresser and he travels for work. He must work for some hot shot people or celebrities, if he gets flown around the world to do hair! Really interesting guy. He wore a hipster hat and had a big tattoo along his leg.

So when I got there on Saturday, I met up with "Aaron" and his fiance. Shoot, I forgot what name I made up for him, but you know who I'm talking about. We had dim sum and it was nice catching up with them. SHE HAS THE BIGGEST ROCK FOR HER ENGAGEMENT RING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! I don't know if it's her small hand or if it's just REALLY big, but WOW. You can't miss it!

Then we went to the farmer's market, that really big one in the middle of that college. We didn't buy anything but it's always nice to just walk around and try stuff. I don't really remember us doing anything else the rest of the day. I think I tried to learn how to play a song on my BF's guitar...I really suck at it. I can't believe people say playing the guitar is easy. It's SO HARD! So I just learned the first two lines of "Fools Rush In" By Elvis. I'll work on the rest next time I'm up there. LoL. That amazingly took most of the day. We had dinner reservations at this Tapas/Paella place. It was really good!

Sunday...hmmm...I swear we just sat around. LoL. I think I just played the guitar more. Gosh, I really don't remember doing very much. We went to this breakfast place, it was ok. Then we didn't do very much, I think I was playing the guitar again. Maybe read a little bit. Then dinner at this fancy French place, it was really expensive! Then Monday, my BF went to work, I just sat around, didn't do very much, I think I played the guitar again. Then went to lunch at this Yummy Korean place. Then at night we just ordered take out and had some crepes.

We watched The secret life of Walter Mitty somewhere in between all that sitting around. It was really good. We ended up watching it twice because we liked it so much. Oh, and we started to watch Spanglish, somewhere in between all that sitting around too! LoL. But I didn't finish it, it was a LONG movie.

So onto the presents. He got me a bracelet from Nordstrom. It's pretty nice. It's this bangle thing. He baked me a chocolate flourless cake. He cut out a stensil "Happy Birthday Amiee" on it and used powdered sugar to get those letters on the cake. He got these multicolored candles and sung me happy birthday when he took out the cake. That was nice. I think what I liked the most was this card he got me. It had two plump little birds on there, they were facing each other and there was this cupcake in between them. And it said "candlelit dinner" on the front. Inside it said Happy Birthday. What I really liked was his message inside:

"You are the bird with the pearls, I'm the bird with the bowtie. I like this card because I can image us being like that, not birds, but content and growing old together. I can tell the birds really love each other. And we can share a cake just like them!"

I'm probably butcher it, but you get the point. It made me cry. I really cried. It sounds lame, but I think I was just really touched. Either that or my birth control pills with all the hormones were getting to me. LoL.

Ok, I have to get going, but that's basically what happened with my weekend. I hope you had a good weekend!

Tummy ache

I woke up at 5:30am with a big tummy ache. I'm wondering if it's the Chipotle I had last night. I tried to go back to sleep but I wasn't super successful since my tummy hurt so much. I probably shouldn't have had double servings of guacamole last night. I just hope my tummy settles down soon. It's very scary going to work and feeling like you need to dash to the restroom every 30 seconds. I just need to calm down too, I think worrying about it is making it worse and making me anxious. I'm just going to take deep breaths and try to get through the day.

So after I woke up at 5:30, I tried to go back to sleep but wasn't able to, it's because of my tummy AND because I was having all these flash backs to when I was back in grad school. Most of the memories of me in my different apartments and how sad I was when my BF dumped me. I remember it rained a lot there and I was always look out the window and just cry and cry. It's making me really sad to relive those memories. So I'm not starting this morning with a very good vibe :( But life must go on, so I'm going to try to just shake off all those bad memories and have a good day :)

To answer your questions from the last post:
1. Yes, I do feel like Frozen mirrors my relationship with my brother. It's perfectly encapsulated in that song "Do you want to build a snowman". Expect we've never built a snowman together but it's core of the song that I think is similiar to my brother and I.
2. I know what you mean about just splurging and buying the bag for myself. John was talking to me last night and told me that his neice just spent $5,000 on a new purse, so in respect, $300 is not that bad. But I'm just not one of those girls to splurge on things like that. Food, yes....clothes and accessories, No. LoL. But maybe I will surprise myself and buy it anyway. I'm on the brink of doing it...on the brink....*SCREAMS   OMG! I just checked and it's not on sale anymore :(

*BIG TEAR DROPS ROLLING DOWN FACE   T_T

Frozen

Hello Friend!

I had a dental appointment this morning. I got a filling and a cleaning. It was GREAT! I love dental procedures and getting your face numbed! I especially love cleanings. Although I really think my teeth got more eroded or something because they are more sensitive now. Before I could withstand anything but I had to really hold back from jumping from the pain today when they were doing the cleaning. That's ok, I like the pain...well, some of it, not when it's too intense, only when it's enough for me to feel it but not squeel in pain. So, to a small extent, I do admit to being a masochist.

I got an email yesterday that said the bugs in my apartment has spread and they are fumigating my apartment AGAIN today. Isn't that crazy?? I had to pack everything up yesterday AGAIN and prep for another fumigation. The email said they would be here from 9-11am but I just went to check on my apartment and it seems like no one has been there. Ugh. I don't know what games my apartment manager is playing but it's getting really annoying.

I watched Frozen last night. I really liked the movie. I wouldn't watch it again, but it was good. Did you watch it? I think it has a good message. But what Disney movie doesn't have a good message right? I can't believe Kristen Bell's the character Anna. She's really good. I didn't ever think she was talented at all, but after watching this movie, I think I'm a fan. I like how it's so easy to fall in love on Disney movies...it's like two people bump into each other, they eye contact, they fall in love, and the next scene is them getting married. It's crazy and unrealistic!

Talkinga bout marriage, did I tell you how my BF's mom worked out the logistics of the wedding already? They want the ceremony in the morning in our home town and then drive up to a city 2 hours away to have the reception there. That sounds CRAZY! A wedding is hectic enough as it is, don't need to drive 2 hours to another city to finish up the wedding there. OMG. And they drove up there and found a restaurant and asked exactly how many tables this restaurant can accommodate. They apparently need 20 tables just to themselves. That's NUTS. 20 tables is like 10 people each table, that's like 200 people already! I think everyone is jumping the gun. It's not like he's even purposed...or even talked about the ring. *shaking head in disbelief

I've been so busy lately, I haven't even had time to catch up on shows, or eat my food I have at home or READ! I haven't had time to even READ! OMG. That's terrible. I like to read a little before bed, but I've been getting home around my bedtime so I've had no time.

I keep thinking about that beautiful bag that you showed me. It's so pretty. I need a miracle for my BF to get me that bag. Well, to be honest, I kinda don't want him to get it, because then I feel like I'm a gold digger. I want to be able to purchase it on my own and feel like an "independent woman". haha. Maybe when my loans are all paid off, it'll be out of season and out of style so it'll be really cheap and I can buy it. Haha.

Cutie Pies!

I don't remember if I told you this but I these are my new babies:


Haha, I know what you are thinking...I'm crazy...but the truth is, I've never purchased a single one of these ty beanie boos...they have all been gifts, so I like to look at it as I'm well loved and people like to shower me gifts rather than I'm eventually going to turn into that "cat lady" but with these stuffed animals. Haha.

So the lamb we are naming Bubble, short for bubble gum. The bunny we are naming Antenna. And the panda we are naming Oreo.

I know! SO CUTE RIGHT?!?!?! :)

Drama drama go away

It's Monday again. The weekends always pass by so quickly. Well, I guess weekdays do too but in a different way. I've been so busy this weekend I haven't even had time to spend with myself. I didn't have time to lounge around, or time to watch TV on my own. Geez, I need to get a less active social life. I'm probably the only person that would ever complain about something like that. I barely even had any time in my apartment. I just went back to shower and sleep, that was about it! *sighs

That bag you sent me is soooo pretty but soooo expensive. I've seen my coresident wear it and I do really like it. The little time I did have to myself this weekend, I spent looking at the purse. Then I forwarded it to my BF hahaha. We'll see what happens since my Bday is coming up hahah :)

I told my friend John about what was going on with my ex BF and my current BF. So did I tell you that my BF is actually kinda upset about me talking to my ex again? He didn't talk to me this weekend and didn't pick up my calls when I tried to call and he didn't call me back...anyways, it was a mess. So when I told John about what I had been doing, he gave me a talking to, like a father would. And he showed me how wrong it was and everything so I texted my ex immediately and told him I'm dating someone and then that was over. I told my BF and he was happy and we can all get on with our lives. So crazy how easily you can stir up drama in your life. *rolls eyes

So ther was a fair here this weekend, but I didn't end up going. Seemed kind of lame. I mean, I guess you would only go to the fair for rides and food, but I wasn't interested in the fatty foods and I wasn't interested in the dangerous rides and I don't have a cute little baby/todler to bring to enjoy the fair with, or even a significant other for that matter...so it was a bust. And I didn't go. I was just lame. But even though I didn't go, I was still super busy and constantly doing something this weekend. Eeek.

I have a REALLY REALLY full schedule today and I've been dreading it the whole weekend......wish me luck as I try to tackle a plethora of patients that I'm sure all have a billion complaints that I have to address. *prays

Doctor's Day!

IT's Friday!

I'm excited because I supposedly got your package but I wasn't home, so they left it with the apartment manager, so I'll pick it up later today...hopefully if time permits. Thank you in advanced!

Yesterday was Doctor's day and everyone in the clinic was so kind to throw up a potluck party and gave us goody bags. One of my close co-workers got me another TY beanie BOO!!! A little baby panda! Awwwwwww...I know! So cute! The goody bag had this large container of trail mix, a water bottle, two pencils and a gift certificate to this restaurant. They made it Dr. Seuss theme and it was so wonderful! So nice of them! I'm really thankful for the staff being so kind! I'm REALLY touched. So so so sooooooooo nice! They also bought us these Uncle Sam hats and made us stand in a line and wear them together. It was pretty funny. It was all really nice though, all REALLY nice.

I dont' know why but I had been craving Chipotle for a long time, and yesterday I finally got some! It was delicious! So many calories but delicious! Worth every calorie! Well....sorta. I really should be losing some weight.

There's been this drauma going on at work, but I don't think I should openly blog about it, maybe I'll call you later about it. Oh, talking about calling. I saw your call yesterday and I really wanted to pick up but I was down to 2% battery life. Of course, by the end of your ringing, my phone died. I didn't get home until pretty late, I just charged my phone and fell asleep. I'm really sorry! I really did mean to call you back. So sorry!

Captain America is coming out! It looks good!! I think he's really cute...actually, cute makes him sound like a little stuffed animal or a little girl...I think he's really good looking :) I don't even really remember what his name is..Chris something?

Oh, to respond to your last blog post. Diego doesn't know I'm dating someone :( I know...so bad of me :( Didn't I tell you? I went on FB and removed my relationship status. I didn't want him to know and do the math and figure out that I was kinda see my BF at the same time I was see him. I can't believe I even did something like that. It's so unlike me. Ugh. It's a very slutty thing to do.

My brother didn't come home for his birthday. He didn't really celebrate with me this year :( I called him, texted him, FB posted and everything and he still hasn't gotten back to me. I don't know what he did to celebrate. I don't know what he's doing with his life anymore :( I found out from FB yesterday that he arrived at a hotel in LA and there was a girl in the picture. Who knows what's going on there :(  I don't like talking about my brother because it just makes me sad to know how far he's drifted from me. *sighs

I'm going to join a gym...I swear I'll do it soon...lol

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my Baby Brother today! I can't believe 20 years ago, today, he came into my life. I have been thinking a lot lately about my brother and how much I miss him. All those years of growing up together where I left him alone to go hang out with my friends and now it's my time to suffer. It's funny how life works out. When he was really fond of me and wanted to spend every waking moment with me, all I wanted to do was go spend time with my friends. And now that I've made my way back and want to spend time with him, all he wants to do is spend time with his friends. The irony. Or more like Karma. Label whatever you'd like, but that's how life is. It's kind of like that song, Cat's in the Cradle. Have you heard of that song? Here's the lyrics if you want to skim them in case you don't know the song:

My child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay,
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, yeh,
I know I'm gonna be like you".

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
"When ya comin' home Dad?"
"I don't know when, we'll get together then, son,
Ya know we'll have a good time then".

Well my son turned 10 just the other day,
He said "Thanks for the ball Dad, come let's play.
Can ya teach me to throw?" I said
"Not today, I got a lot to do." He said "That's ok".
And then, he walked away but his smile never dimmed,
He said "I'm gonna be like him, yeh,
Ya know I'm gonna be like him".

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
"When ya comin' home Dad?"
"I don't know when, we'll get together then, son,
Ya know we'll have a good time then".

Well he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son I'm proud of you, can ya sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like Dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See ya later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
"When ya comin' home son?"
"I don't know when, we'll get together then, Dad,
Ya know we'll have a good time then".

Well I've long since retired, my son's moved away,
I called him up just the other day.
I said "I'd like to see you, if you don't mind."
He said "I'd love to Dad, if I can find the time.
You see my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you Dad,
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as he hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like, my boy, was just like me.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
"When ya comin' home son?"
"I don't know when, we'll get together then, Dad,


So long story short, I can relate to this song. In this scenario, I'm the Dad and my brother is the son I guess. That might seem kinda weird, but I've always been more or less a mother figure to my brother, so this all makes sense. Well, I posted a facebook shoutout to him to wish him a happy birthday. I'm trying to reach out to him in little ways, hopefully he'll understand it and appreciate it.

I'm going to tell you this and you are going to think I'm crazy but I spent most of last Sunday crying. I was crying first because my mom was again asking/prying about my BF. Our plans, our plans, our plans, our plans...when we are going to get married, etc, etc, etc. Ugh. It's so frustrating. So the first half of the day was crying about that. The second half of the day was spent thinking about my brother and how sad this whole ironic situation is (how the tables have turned), and I went to old pictures of my brother and every time I saw a picture of us imbracing of him showing affection towards me I just bawled my eyes out. It was crazy. I can't explain it. I'm crying like he's dead or something. But I just have all these emotions of regret that I didn't cherish him more as a child and now it's too late because he's so all about his friends now.

In a sense, I want to stop this craziness, because I am really obsessing over this brother situation. But at the same time, I want to keep thinking about my brother because it takes my mind off of thinking about my BF. I don't want to keep thinking about how long it's going to take us to be together, physically and by law. If you catch my drift. I had a plan. I had a timeline of when I wanted to be married, have a child, buy a house, etc etc. I don't need my mom and grandma to be constantly on my back all the time, because I give myself a hard enough time about how I'm so many years behind my schedule. I think this situation is more upsetting than my brother's situation, so it's probably better I spend more time obsessing over my brother than my BF. Or maybe I should just learn to let things go and live life in the present and stop obsessing over things. If only it was so easy. If only I had a personality that allowed me to live a carefree life and let things go. I'm a dweller, it's what I do. I just dwell over things until I find something else to dwell over.

You know those WikiHow pages? I consulted one of those pages. The topic? "How to maintain a successful long distance relationship". I know. Pathetic right? It didn't really give me any real solid advice. Most of the advice was just like "trust them" and "don't smother them" and "don't interrogate them of where they have been or who they are hanging out with" and "you don't have to know where they are all the time" and blah blah blah. I basically violate ALL those rules BTW. I'm trying to convice my BF to download this app that allows me to track where he is all the time based on GPS through his phone. He refused of course. But he said that if I'm smart enough to figure out to steal his phone and figure out his passcode to get into his phone, I can am allowed to download the app without his consent. Considering I'm not a ninja or a computer hacker, I probably can't do either of those things. So that's just giving me false hope.

So apprently there is this girl that liked my BF last year, around the same time when we reconnected. She was calling him a lot, which is funny because he was trying to call me a lot. Haha. So he got fed up and just told her really bluntly one day "I don't like you, stop calling me, I don't want to talk to you anymore". HARSH right? OMG, I think if I were that girl, I would just DIE! So he told me that he said that to her, just very recently, and I told him that he needs to contact her and say he's sorry. He was hesitant and he thought about a few days and then he finally did it. He emailed her and she responded on gchat and forgave him. I feel really good about that. I feel like I did something nice for someone I don't even know and I probably made her day. It's like I just completed a circle of kindness. But now my BF is always joking round claiming that she wants to get back together with him and I just glare at him. But of course, this is on the phone, so it just comes out as silence as I glare into the phone, which is sort of useless.

So I'm starting to talk my ex BF more on gchat as well. You know last night he offered to pay half my airfare so I will go visit him? I didn't think too much about it but when I told my BF and he compared it to as if he invited a friend, that's a girl, up to visit him and he paid for half their air fare and then I realized, Yeah...that's not right. I should probably change my FB relationship status back to being "in a relationship" haha. It's probably misleading to have "single" on there.

Missing the point

Convo with BF:

BF: so I went to lunch with this old friend from Grad school today, he's interviewing at my company for a job
me: oh, nice
BF: he was all asking me "hey, how are you doing with your lady friend? Any future plans?" And I said "yes, probably some future plans by the end of this year". He brought his GF to this lunch and his GF said "what do you mean future plans? Like marriage?" and I said "shhhh...we don't say marriage, we label it 'future plans' so it doesn't freak us out" and both my friend and I just laughed while the GF was all confused. Haha.
me: wait....he called me "a lady friend"?
BF: I think you missed the point of the story here....
me: oh......*thinks* You have plans to marry me by this year??
BF: no.........that guys are afraid of the word "marriage"
me: OH.......yeah, I missed that lol


So my Ex chatted me again yesterday. He started asking way too many questions/details about when we broke up and why we broke up and etc etc. It got kinda uncomfortable. I told my BF and he said that I should stop talking to him. He sort of expressed feelings of jealous but not really. You know how he doesn't really express feelings in general, so I think that's probably going to be most feelings I get out of him.


Going home again this weekend. I'm suppose to drive my mom to this wedding, which I found out is at like 10oclock at night! That's crazy late! I told her that I probably won't even be awake! She agreed but is still making me go with her. She also said it's super low key and I don't need to dress up or anything. Maybe I'll just roll into the reception in my PJ's and sleep through the meal haha.


So did you find out the card mystery? Did you get the Pooh card?

SO IN LOVE

I can't believe you haven't gotten your card. I'm starting to think I wrote the wrong address. It's been a long time. I really like that card too, it's super nice. Darn, oh well. I guess it'll just be lost to the vast world of snail mail. I'm losing faith in USPS...*tsk tsk.

Of course my mom didn't go hiking. We parked far from the trail head, so that was quite a walk in itself, she would have probably called it quits after that walk to the trail head. Haha.

So my chat with my ex yesterday. Well, we were just updating each other on how we were doing. Nothing too interesting. Of course he was curious if I was dating someone. I was very vague about it but then again, so was he. He mentioned he wanted to be FB friends again and I said it would be ok. But I freaked out and removed my relationship status. I really don't think my BF would have noticed but I decided to fess up and tell him I removed it. Of course he never responds the way I expect him to. His response to that was "Yes! I'm a FREE MAN NOW!" which left me thinking making the face....




Anyways...so he then started to get a little more serious and he mentioned that it's a bit ridiculous that I'm doing all this just to cauddle my ex so he doesn't feel bad that I'm dating someone else now. It didn't feel ridiculous when I was doing it but after my BF pointed it out, it did sound really crazy. But I pointed how he didn't want to update that relationship status and now he's complaining about it! I think overall, he doesn't really care, so I'll just leave things the way they are right now.

My BF did something yesterday that made me like him more than ever. It's not what you are thinking. It's nothing romantic, it's nothing nice, it's just something as NERDY as you can possibly imagine. He's looking into buying a condo right now and he saw this one condo that he's interested in. So instead of being a normal person and just checking out the condo and deciding from there if the price is worth it, he made some graphs. Which made me make this face....




Hmmmm...why did you make a graph? What for? I was a little confused. So ending up he looked up a few other apartments around the area and plotted the asking price vs the selling price based on the floor the condo was on vs square footage. He also managed to separate the condos that came with parking vs. those that did not. I know..complicated graph, but he did it. And from the graph he was able to extrapolate that the condo he was looking at is asking way too much per square footage so essentially, they inflated the price. AMAZING guy right?



I think cupid just hit me with an arrow because I wasn't just SO impressed with how nerdy he was but I was SO in love with how nerdy he was. It's funny how sometimes he can be super romantic (well...relatively speaking for him) and I'm touched but I'm not falling in love with him. And then he shows me a graph that he makes to extrapolate how inflated the condo price was and I'm HEAD OVER HEELS OVER HIM. Wow.



Yup, I pretty much felt like that last night. I'm such a weirdo. Haha.




My friend found this pain chart that I think is pretty representative of how pain should be categorized. Some patient come in claiming 10/10 pain and I'm watching them sit down on the chair comfortably why they report this and I'm have a really hard time believing them that they are in 10/10 pain. I even tell them "10/10 would be like someone cutting off your arm" and their response is either "yeah, 10/10" or "oh..really? In that case, 9/10".



I think this guy summarizes my "Really?" face.


I've been really killing myself trying to finish off this large bag of sour patch kids candy because I found it it expired back in January. I'm getting so sick trying to eat large amounts of the candy all in one sitting. Since it's already expired for so many months, I should just take it easy and try to eat it in moderation.

Ok, sorry I posted more pictures than text this time around, but I really felt like using real photos to express my many facial expressions.

Let me know if you ever get my card!!

WHOA. CRAZY.

Do you think mousepads are useless? I feel like most of the time it's not useful, people lose them, use them for other things, or they become junk. Does anyone even have a mouse pad anymore? Maybe mouse pads were needed when there was actually a ball that rolls but now that all the mouses are lasers, I think they have become obsolete.

I also think that paper weights are useless. Some of them are really pretty but they don't serve an actual purpose. My BF told me that people were really bored before so pretty paperweights served as something interesting for people to look at during work. But since there's computers and internet now, I guess it's not really needed anymore.

I guess I wouldn't really mind working out as much if I didn't sweat so much when I'm working out. That and I get so tired and my breathing becomes more labored. If those things didn't happen then I wouldn't mind working out more. Oh, and you have to get changed into work out clothes because you don't want to sweat in regular clothes. But I guess if you didn't sweat then you wouldn't have to change out of your clothes to work out right? Well, I guess you still have to make sure you are comfortable.

In case you are wondering why I'm just rambling, I'm waiting for my patients to show up. And while I was waiting I thought of all this random stuff so I thought I'd just share it before I forget. By now you have prob figured out when I post my blog entries right? Well, I rarely do two posts in one day, so I'm just trying to keep things interesting for you. Surprise! Extra random rambling post! Yay!

So my BF decided that Bandit is too much of a guy's name, so we are going with Bandy as a nickname for the TY beanie baby Boo: Raccoon. I showed my brother and he thought Bandy was toooooo pink. Haha. I guess he's not a fan of pink. Too bad. Well, I'm not either but I can at least tolerate it.

Oh gosh, if my patient shows up then they are late. And nothing bugs me more than patients when they are late. Ugh. If you are going to be late, please have the curtesy to not show up. Please. For the provider's sake.

OMG!! Breaking news! You know my ex that I was dating last year? He just gchatted me!! WHOA. I guess he's in Texas now. WHOA. I'm still surprised he's talking to me. CRAZY. OMG, I'm still in shock he's talking to me right now. WHOA. WHOA. O_O

Weekend Wonder

I think part of the problem why I'm not a good story teller or a conversationalist is because I always forget things that have happened or sometimes even right in the middle of my story/sentence, I forget what I wanted to say or what I was saying and then my stories are all jumbled or inaccurate. I reallyd on't know what my problem is. I try to pay full attention and I still lose it. I try to make sure I'm actively coordinating my brain and my mouth to work together, but it doesn't work. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a good story teller or a good conversationalist. Some people have a knack for it and I'm just not one of those. Even for blogging, it's so hard for me to recall what even happened to me and try to recall what I even blogged about. When things happen to me, I always think, "OK, I have to remember this so I can blog about it later" and then when it comes time to sit down and jot everything down on my blog, it's blank. I'm just looking at the white screen with the blinking cursor trying to recall something, anything to blog about. It's really pathetic. Oh good, I think I'm starting to remember some things I did this weekend...ok, here goes.

So you know I went home this weekend. Friday we had this big feast. Don't ask me what we ate, I barely remember because it was this massive food fest. I was REALLY full. Like buffet full. Early Saturday morning during breakfast, my dad told me that we were going hiking that day. Which is SUPER surprising because we don't exercise together. That just doesn't happen. But then it occured to me it's probably my parents' desperate attempt to get my brother to work out. Which is a great gallant effort on their part because I know how tired they get from work and for them to put in more time and effort to exercise with us is amazing. So that's what we did, we went hiking. Of course my brother and my dad looked like they were going to the mall. I was the only one that was dressed in proper hiking gear with my camelback and everything. We only got halfway up, we had an appointment for an oil change so we had to leave, but I think my dad did pretty well, Oscar wasn't bad either. I think my dad either really enjoyed it or he was faking it because he said he's going to make this a standard saturday morning activity with us so we can all work out more. I don't mind because it gets me exercising and out of the house. We'll see if we really keep up with it.

I went to go visit my cutie pie baby cousin twice this weekend. He's getting so big now!! He can grip things and he can recognize people now. He usually cries if he realizes you are not his mother and you are holding him. So we've got to be strategic and try to hold him a way that he can't see our face so he won't cry. I know i've been saying that I've been really baby crazy, but this weekend has made me reconsider things. Crying babies are not that fun. And there might be a chance I'll give birth to a crying baby. That would drive me insane if the baby cried all the time. My BF told me he used to be a fussy baby and cried all the time, so if he takes after my BF, then it's NOT going to be a fun parenting experience!

So you know how the first thing I do it eat breakfast in the morning. My technician made some breakfast burritos and she shared one with me. It was so good! She makes everything from scratch! Including the tortillas! Impressive huh? I think you would have really liked it since you like potatoes in burritos and it's really fresh!

So on the drive back yesterday I was listening to NPR. Yes, I listen to that now instead of music. And there was this really interesting game show that was on. It's probably for nerds because it asks you things about obscure words, definitions, phrases, and literary geography. It requires a lot of thinking. I liked it though. I told my BF about it and he was really intruiged. He normally doesn't care about what I talk about but he seemed interested in this. Another indication that he's a nerd. Good thing I like nerds. haha.

Did you get your card yet??

Early Apartment Woes

Great start to the day. And I'm being sarcastic. I usually like to pack up all my things in the car during lunch time but today I was being really pro-active about it and started packing in the morning. Who knows if I'll even get a lunch break, it's been a zoo here lately. Anyways, so I packed up all my things, grabbed my car keys, locked my front door and dragged all my things to the car to load them in there. Do you see where things went wrong? I just grabbed my car keys, yes, that's right. Not my apartment keys, just car keys. OMG. So I stood there in front of my apartment door thinking all these different ways I could try to break into my apartment. None of them were actually viable options since I'm not agile, resourceful or a ninja. Good thing is that I was already dressed in work attire with work appropriate shoes, so I just made my way to work. I'll probably sneak back to the apartment during lunch so I can get a key to open my apartment. I'm shaking my head in shame right now. I've always been so careful...but I guess not careful enough today. I'm still really happy that at least I'm not in PJ's or I look like a mess, then I would be in really big trouble cause I wouldn't be able to go to work and I wouldn't be able to get into my apartment.

Last night I celebrated the New Year with my friend John. We went to Olive Garden. I ordered the Seafood Brodetto. It was good. I always get that. But this time, it tasted funny. There was this sandy, crunchy taste to it. It's a soup, that's not suppose to happen. Later on, when I was done with it, I realized that there was a small piece of ceramic in my soup. It must have broken off of another dish or serving utensil. That's why it was all "sandy" or "crunchy" because when the ceramic piece broke off, it must have left little reminents scattered throughout my soup. Gee, I sure hope that stuff is not toxic and is not going to scratch a hole through my intestines. Well, I'm still alive, so I guess that means it should be fine. I wanted to tell the waitress but at the same time, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. So I just let it go.

I feel better today but I'm still a little down and frustrated. I was really unhappy yesterday but I'm better now. My dad called me yesterday. *smiles* He's so sweet. He asked me what I wanted to eat this weekend. He's always so thoughtful and nice. *smiles*

So remember when I complained about BOA yesterday pawning me off to another company? Which is an OUTRAGE. Like, seriously BOA? You aren't BIG enough to stay afloat you need to sell some of your branches? Geez. Well, anyway, I changed my address back to my parent's address for right now so therefore, hopefully, my accounts won't change because they don't belong here anymore. But that still means I won't have a bank while I'm here. No ATMs or anything. So I think the best thing to do is just close one of my BOA accounts and take that money to open another account with a different bank here. So that way, I will have some CASH if I ever need some. That's my best solution right now. Since I don't want to change all my direct deposit, automatic payment, etc etc info. That sounds like a can of worms I don't want to open right now.

I'm thirsty. Since I got locked out, I didn't get to bring any water with me, so I'm thirsty. Ugh :( This locking myself out of my apartment deal, feels like either a punishment for being such a downer yesterday or it's just another indication that I should leave this place. What do you think?

Sorry my terrible blog entry yesterday made you sad too :( I didn't mean to transfer all that bad energy to you. I'm sure the weekend will mend all my sorrows. Either that, or create more of them, since I'm going home and usually my mom stresses me out. Oh, my brother will be home too, and you know about our volatile relationship.

Yesterday when I talked to my BF he told me that he only likes me conditionally. Meaning, if I married him and didn't work and just coach potatoed around, he wouldn't like me. If I got fat, he wouldn't like me. If I started to gamble, if I spent a lot of money, if I eat more than I do now.....etc etc. So many rules. Are you suppose to date someone that likes you CONDITIONALLY? Isn't love supposed to be unconditional??

Upsetting

Remember the bomb threat? We ended up seeing that patient yesterday. He was still very disgruntled and angry. I don't know why we are still seeing this patient that wants to kill us! This is crazy! I'm still very upset about how the whole situation was handled and now this. I feel bad for the doctor that ended up taking him.

I have this other patient that has been complaining to me FOREVER. It's partially his fault because he doesn't let me do any testing and he's always in a rush to get out. I've been him I think 2 or 3 times and both of those times he spent more time complaining then letting me do testing on him. Everytime I invite him back to do extensive testing he declines so he just complains and complains that I am not doing anything and I can't figure out what is wrong. It's so frustrating. I think I'm just going to give up on him. I don't know what else I can do for this guy. OMG.

I'm very upset because my bank was bought out by another banking company and now all my accounts have converted to the new bank company. That's not the worse, so this new bank company is only local to HERE, where I work, so when I go home to visit my parents, I don't have that banking company there. It's like one hurdle after another. So I've gotten over the whole bed bug and itchy patch crisis, bomb threats, crazy patients and now this! *Eye lid twitching

On top of all of this, I found out that we are not able to deny care to anyone. I understand and admire their policy because it's very nice to not deny anyone health care, but when it might compromise our safety, this rule doesn't seem as admirable anymore.

I think I'm just super irritated today. That's not going to be a good way to start the day.

My coworker got me a stressball but in a shape of a cupcake. I really like it, I keep squeezing it but it's not helping me de-stress at all. I don't know what's going on with me today, I'm just not in a good mood.

I can't even blog right now. Everything is just so upsetting right now.

Halfway through the week!

I had a huge headache yesterday, was a little dizzy too, I think I was just really overwhelmed with patients and seeing so many of them. I was really burned out. I was so out of it by the end of the day. I was barely functioning. I went home and started mindlessly eating. I'm pretty sure I hate more calories than a typical dinner, but then John calls me and pulls me out for dinner. I was so full, I really should have said no but I went anyway and I ate AGAIN. TWO DINNERS. Wow, I really am on my way to obsesity. Now this morning we have a potluck breakfast and of course, knowing me, I woke up and ate breakfast...forgetting we have a potluck, so now I'm going to eat TWO breakfasts. Wow. I'm really something. I thought I really wouldn't even be able to have breakfast with everyone but I just checked my schedule and my 8:00am just happened to have cancelled so I have the 8-8:30 time slot to eat (again). Haha. Love how things work out sometimes.

I was so tired from work and foodcoma that I went to bed at 9pm. I'm pretty sure I did anyway. Not sure, last night was a huge blur. I had three missed calls this morning when I checked my phone. Yup, just as you guessed, all from my BF. I wonder if he thinks I'm dead. He also emailed me yesterday but I was so busy I didn't respond. I didn't do anything but work and eat yesterday. That was my day. Actually, most the time, that's predomintly what I do for every mon-fri. Haha. Work and eat. That's it.

I had a patient yesterday that was really offensive. Like I said, I was really busy so I worked straight through lunch. I didn't eat. So my first patient in the afternoon said to me "Wow, you must have had onions for lunch huh?" I was kinda taken aback. Was he implying that my breath stinks? I apologized right away and said "I'm sorry, does my breath stink?" And he responded "No, you're fine" and then I was even more confused...what is that suppose to mean when he asks me if I had onions for lunch?? So he then asks me again "So did you have onions for lunch??" and I was even more confused and at this point a little offended and frustrated. I responded with "actually, no, I didn't even eat I've been so busy, I worked straight through lunch. What you are smelling is probably ketoacidosis, which is my baby breaking up excess sugars/fats so I can remain alive since I haven't eaten in such a LONG time" and then he was silent. So I proceeded with the exam, only speaking when absolutely necessary since the patient finds my breath so appalling. He did other things that were super annoying during the rest of the exam too. Just his smug look and his attitude, it was really difficult to hide my irritation behind a smile. Then at the very end of the exam he started to demand for so much, claiming that he spoke to his friend and his friend got all this stuff and now he wants all this and that. When I said no he was arguing with me so much...over and over again. It was ridiculous. I sent him over to my technician, which he argued with over and over again. Then he requested to talk to me again, which he argued with again. When I said no again, he went back to my technician. This lasted a while. Keep in mind I was trying to finish my charts and see other patients at the same time. Ugh. Arguing with people is so draining. Sometimes I want to just give in but I can't let them win. Then he's going to tell his friends and they are going to come back and just argue with me until I'm tired and I'll end up giving everyone what they want just because they demand it. I've got to put my foot down and grow a spine! That's my goal this year...GROW A SPINE!

I think my brother is dating someone. If you check out his FB page, which I do from time to time just to make sure he's not doing anything fishy, he updated his profile picture and he's in it with this other girl. Hmm...either they are really good friends or something's going on. It's hard to imagine my brother is dating someone. I tried to FB stalk him a little bit but there's no other indication that they are together. I will just have to monitor this situation. If you find anything, let me know!

I'm excited to go home this weekend. I haven't been back for 3 weeks now. It's been a long time. I know I say I'm all excited and happy now but as soon as I go home, I know I'm going to get in a fight with someone or they are going to mention my BF (in a loving way) and I my eyelid is going to twitch again and I'm going to blow up on them. It happens every time. Even when I'm on the phone, it always happens. "Hi! How are you? How's your BF?" OMG! WHO CARES ABOUT MY BF?!?!? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS ON MY BACK ABOUT GETTING MARRIED?!?!? STOP IT!! I'M GOING TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS FAMILY AND NEVER COME BACK!!!...But I always come back. And I always miss them, even though they do incredibly annoying things. And like I've mentioned before, I'm pretty sure it's my problem, not theirs. I shouldn't really have such a terrible adverse reaction the smallest mention of my BF. It's weird. I can't explain it but it just bothers me. I don't want them to talk about him, ask me about him or anything about him. Best thing to do would be for them to pretend he doesn't exist. That would be awesome. :)

It's gotten to a point I feel like Yelping is a chore. It's something I want to keep up with but just don't have motivation for it anymore. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I just yelped right away instead of waiting for like 20 restaurants to pile up before I did it. But I'm always so lazy to do it now anyway. I can see why people don't yelp (write reviews). It's tiring. I've written a few lately where I haven't really done my template. You know, where I split up the categories and talk about each one. But those seemed so generic and I didn't really much to share when I'm just free styling like that. I feel like I'm minimially contributing to the yelp community. Either that or I'm contributing subpar material. I guess that's how I've been doing my work lately. At subpar levels.

I'm sick of travelling. There, I said it. I'm sick and tired of travelling. I only go up to see my BF like every couple to few months. And I'm still sick and tired of it. There are non-stop flights now, which is great, but still, I don't want to travel. I have to pack and get ready and then make sure my stomach isn't going crazy. Let me remind you of that infamous road trip with my brother up to visit you. That was TERRIBLE. I think I seriously have some PTSD from it. Maybe that just ruined travelling for me. Ugh, I dont' know. My BF keeps chatting with me about coming up during May and I'm very unmotivated. We'll see how it works out.

Dreams: Wedding and a Daughter

I didn't ever think I'd ever say "I'm so glad I'm at work today" but I did say that today. Because I found out after work that it was 97 deg outside today. No wonder all my patients that came in today had sweaty foreheads. Makes so much more sense now. I'm glad I was in my nice A/C clinic. It's better than sweating your clothes off outside. As the temperature rises, I'm glad about ONE thing. WATERMELON. Yum. I don't know how many watermelons I'm going to have to eat when it's 120 deg outside. -_-

So I don't remember if I blogged about this (you'll probably get more and more of these as I am becoming more and more symptomatic for juvenile Alzheimer's) but the night before last, I had a dream that I was getting married and it was my wedding day. The groom? My BF, of course. And it was a glorious wedding. So carefree and fun. Not stressful at all. I wore a gorgeous dress and the day was so beautiful. Sunshine and rainbows. It was amazing.

Last night, I had a dream that I had a daughter. The father? You would think I'd say, "my BF, of course" but it was actually Mark Wahlberg. I know, random right? Well, actually, it wasn't super random. Right before I fell asleep last night, I was watching TV and he was on a commercial. It's about how he's going to get some award on TV or something like that. I always get Mark confused with this other actor. Wait, who was in Italian Job? Was that him? Oh, maybe I'm thinking of Matt Damon? I have no idea, I forgot who I confuse with who. But it was definitely Mark in my dream. She was about 2 years old and I was holding her in my arms the whole time. She looked just like "little mouse" or "lo shu jie". So cute and she had my haircut and my personality. She was constantly saying "mommy" and I responded with "yup, that's me" followed by a HUGE smile.

I did tell my BF about BOTH dreams and I'm surprised he didn't run away already. At least that means he's kind of committed to me right? Right? he he he...

There was a patient I had today that smelled so bad I almost passed out. Seriously, with the door closed, I felt like the room was getting fumigated, but with the patient's scent. I almost passed out. I had to keep breathing through my mouth but the more I tried to breath through my mouth, the more I felt like I was eating and ingesting the toxic air born molecules. The more I thought about how I was eating the molecules, the more I wanted to throw up to expel those nasty scent molecules back into the air and out of my internal airway. It was really hard to not die from the smell. I was trying my best to keep my composure and not make the patient feel bad. When I finally stepped out of the room, I took the biggest, deepest breath of fresh air I could take. Febreeze couldn't even neutralize the smell in the room. Oh gosh, I can just hope that it's aired out by tomorrow.

It's really sad to go through yelp and look through all the good restaurants that I've eaten at and find out that most of them are closed. All those good memories are gone. Poof, vanished. How sad. I found out another restaurant closed around the school I used to go to. I loved eating there with my friend for lunch. The food was so good. I know I really over emphasize food a lot of the times, but I do value the social experience too. Most of the time, I associate how good the food is with how good the company is. When I find fondly back about my dining experience, I recall the people I ate with and the things we talked about. It's a bonding experience. You know how we felt like after we came back from studying abroad and we were just so sad because we knew that those memories are gone? We can't ever go back to relive those memories because the same people we shared it with are not there anymore? That's how I feel when a good restaurant closes. I can't ever go back to eat that same food with the great people that I shared it with. It's gone. It's not there anymore. And just like when the restaurant closed down, I feel like all those good thoughts/feelings/memories have vanished with it. Makes me so sad. :( I guess I could try to refill those good memories with new ones but it almost always feels like it's not the same. You know how you never really realize how good something is or enjoy something until it's gone? Like how we didn't know how good our time studying abroad was or how I didn't know how good undergrad was or grad school was until I graduated? Or how much I would miss friends when they are gone? I am always one of those "miss it after it's gone" type of people. I don't really truly enjoy or savor moments when I'm actually living them, I just get sad afterwards when I realize it was really good/fun and then reminiscence those times. I'm always chasing or living in the past. I put the past on a pedestal and I continually miss the present. It's a flaw of mine, I know. I'm working on it....actually I'm not. But isn't acknowledging something the first step?

Wow, it's almost 10pm, I better go get ready for bed! I'd like to read a little before I fall asleep. Good night.

So the couch potato-ing begins...

Did you find my new blog? I hope my email to you didn't "get lost" in your email folder. But most likely not, as you already addressed that problem earlier last week and has successfully received my emails in a timely fashion.

You know when you watch those TV shows or movies and the main character is usually blogging? And when they are blogging, they are usually narrating their own writing...so I've always wondered, when you read my blog do you hear my voice narrating what I'm writing? Or do you just read it as an update to my life? Just curious.

I told my BF last night that I still blog. This came up because he told me that he's interested in a career as a writer. Not a professional writer, like he's going to quit his job and become a writer...but something to do on the side. I told him that a blog would be a nice way to start and get some practice and then I casually mentioned that I still blog. Not as an interest but merely for you to read about my life and get updated on it. He said he's going to look for my blog but since I've taken the website off my facebook and I've changed my blog name...I doubt he'll find me. Muhahhahaha and I want to keep it that way. Muahahah. I don't know why I don't want him reading my blog...maybe because I know some of things that I say here might scare him. You know, things about how obsessed I am to get married and how I reiterate all those intimate conversations I have with him...things like that might upset him. LoL.

So let's go back to the crazy BOMB scare on Friday. So I was told that we are safe to go back to work on Monday and the proper protocols have been taken to ensure of safety, which I believed, up until the point I met up with some of my coworkers and they told me that those are just lies our manager has told our central office to down play the gravity our situation. No one checked the building to ensure that our workplace is safe and the guy that made the threats is at large, so I'm not sure if he's spending his weekend prepping a bomb and planting it in our clinic so he can take us down. I'm very disappointed and disheartened that they would treat us this way. It's almost like we are just expendable employees, so why not risk it? Why waste resources and time ensuring we are safe? Ugh. Makes me really angry when I think about this situation. But I'm going to just let this incident pass and blindly trust that we are going to safe and stay alive. If you don't hear from me for a while, check the news to make sure our clinic didn't explode and I didn't die in the process.

I'm not sure if I talked about this but John quit on Thursday last week. He went to work on that morning and the manager spread vicious lies about him and made two nurses very angry at him, he got fed up with it and he quit by the end of the day. I was shocked, of course, but I was more worried about his finances. He had just bought a new house here and he was getting a new security system installed, a new pool in the backyard and so much more, I didn't know how he was going to manage to make the payments if he quits his job. Luckily, the main office requested a telephone conference with him Friday and they ironed things out and plead that he return. He decided he will return Monday, under the circumstances that he won't have to deal with the manager. So we'll see how it goes on Monday, he can still quit, but I have my fingers crossed that he'll stay. Because this was so such crazy news for all of us, a couple of other doctors that worked at the clinic and I went over to his place Thursday night to sit and chat with him. We stayed until 10ish, which is CRAZY late for me. Then Friday rolled around and the whole bomb scare happened, so I left work and ending up spending more time with him. I actually stayed so late over at his house that he forced me to stay there because he thought it was too late/dangerous for me to drive home. So I did, I slept at his place.

Saturday came around and I just tried to accomplish some things on my "to do" list. Which was mainly just "do laundry" and "submit taxes". I've been meaning to do laundry for a while now. I wanted to wash anything that was fabric material that was in my apartment when it was fumigated that might have obsorbed some of the harmful chemicals. You know, it's to ensure that I won't die from making contact with that fabric. Anyways, so I did that. Check. And then for my taxes, really, all I had to do was sign onto turbotax and hit submit. Which I did. Check. I was done with my chores this weekend. Yay! That was easy. Normally I have a ton of things to do but this has been the 3rd weekend in a row I haven't gone home, so being here so many weekends has given me an opportunity to accomplish most of my to do list here. I'm so ready to go home next weekend. It's getting really really hot here. I'm melting and morphing more into a cough potato has the temperature rises. You know how that is, when it's so hot, you don't want to move, it's hard to prevent yourself from sweating by just sitting still. Who wants to go outside, in the beating sun? No one. So that's exactly what I did, I just napped for hours on Saturday. Haha.

Sunday. Today. I actually did do something active because my coworker invited me out to go walking along the Colorado River and then to breakfast. Let's be real, I just went for the breakfast. Haha. So I went to this restaurant that I really like because the food is always amazing! But I ordered the wrong thing today so I barely ate my food. I have this Mexican style scramble, I know, sounds good, but it was way too oily and had way too much tortilla. The home fries were also too oily. I only finished the bread that it came with. I left most of it untouched. After breakfast, since I was already out, I went to the mall. I've been trying to buy new clothes forever now. Much of it didn't fit or ending up being poor purchases. I'm actively looking for some nice tight workout capri's, like the ones that you have. Haven't had much luck. Thought I found something nice but ending up changing my mind. I was also almost going to get another pair of slacks for work, but also changed my mind about that. So, in summary, another uneventful attempt at a shopping spree. I swung by target on the way back and got some food, but otherwise, that was it.

It's so hot here, there isn't much I want to do. The only thing I've always enjoyed about summer....WATERMELON! John was nice enough to give me a personal sized watermelon on Saturday. I savored and enjoyed that beast today. Yum Yum YUM! What's better than a hot pre-summer day eating a cold watermelon? NOTHING. Good food always gets me so excited, not to mention, in a good mood. Ok, I'm going to try to take a nap and hopefully gracefully transition this nap into sleep. Tootles!

FYI, in case you are wondering about Sally's baby, there's picture posted on FB! The baby's a darling.

CRAZY

Wow, that blog you texted me seriously sounds like me. I had a double take too. I was thinking to myself, "OMG, is this me? No, I would know if I started another blog". It was THAT convincing that this other blogger could be me! I'm not suprised your friend thought it was me. Haha. I'm surprised she would share SO much on a live public blog. I'm honestly a little scared to share so much publically. That's why I changing my blog around so that way my identity is a little more concealed. Now...all I have to figure out is how to prevent my name from being displayed when I post blog entries. I have already deleted most things on here that can identify me as me. As soon as I do that, I'm going to write more liberally like that other girl. I think I would be really good friends with this other girl because we have so much in common. We would have so many stories to tell...or maybe most of our stories would be the same, so maybe we would just be reiterating each other's experiences. But anyhow, it's refreshing to know I'm not alone, other people go through the same things as I do! That's nice to know.

My boots finally came! I don't know if I mentioned I bought some boots and shorts from AE. The boots looked so promising but once I got them, they seem kind of small. I ordered a size 8, which is normally my shoe size, but when I put them on, I heard your voice inside my head "You should get half a size bigger for boots so you can wear thicker socks". Ugh!!! Where was this voice BEFORE I ordered these boots? It's ok though, I didn't really like the way it felt. It was so uncomfortable and the bottom was really HARD. There was NO cushion whatsoever. So I think I'm going to return them. I also got these shorts, just for the heck of it. Yes...I have decided to forget that I've gained weight when I ordered these shorts because when I tried to pull them on, I think there was a period of 30 secs I lost circulation in my thigh/hip area before I could rip them off. I needed a bigger size. -_- So basically my online shopping spree was a bust. I don't know why I feel like I can online shop successfully. I've never been able to do it before. I always order all these things and then end up returning them. Especially from AE! That's always the most unsuccessful online shopping I've done. I should learn from my mistakes, but I guess I'm not very good at learning from history....ie. my current BF.

So something really BIG happened yesterday. It was REALLY big. I got off work and didn't get home until 10pm. So you know my good doctor friend, John? Well, he got so fed up with the coruption and management here at the clinic, he just quit yesterday. He finished up his work day and packed up all his stuff and left. It's CRAZY! And so sudden. I can't believe it. There's been a lot of shady things happening around here and management has been very bad, so I think he just had enough of it. He's a man of principle and it's hard for him to work in this type of environment. I just worry about him now since he just bought a new house, he wasn't released from his lease at this current apartment, so he's paying rent for this apartment and now morgage on his new home. And I'm sure there is a lot of extra expenses with a purchase of a new home, like new furniture, new appliances, he just installed a sercuity system in his new house and he's getting a pool installed...it all costs money. I don't know what he's going to do now that he doesn't have a job and has all these payments. But he's an adult, and he's capable of making his own choices, so if he's going to choose to make these choices, I support him and will only pray that he will find a way. So that's what I've been doing all of yesterday. After work, I helped him pack and drive back to his place. And then stayed there and talked to him. Two other co-workers were at his place too and the four of us just kept him company. He seemed to be a little better but he was still very down. We asked him what his next plan is but he just said he didn't have one and that he's not even thinking about it right now because he's still in shock. I'll check up on him after work again today but this is all so shocking and terrible.

OMG, this is INSANE, we have a bomb threat today, I'm outta here!

Terrible Hump Day

I knew Sally was due March 10th, but it's just so crazy to think she has a baby now! Wow, it's actually alive and kicking. A new human being was born. It's so small and so cute! The more I see of these situations the more I yearn to have my own experience. One day...maybe in the distant future, I'll be able to have my own FB post about giving birth to my new baby. I don't know any details about the birth or if she gets pain meds. I haven't talked to her, I know about just as much as you do.

My futon came yesterday and I had to unpack it and put it together. It's not that heavy but because I strained my muscles from moving the heavy couch into my bedroom the day before, I could barely pick anything up. Trust me, it was pretty difficult. But somehow I managed. I put everything together and I got to sleep on a brand new futon. It was amazing. I get kind of cold now because it's "leather" so it's not as warm as cloth/fabric made materials. So I think I might need to double up on the blankets. Or maybe I should line the futon with some sheets. Well, I'll play around with it and see what works. I'll send you a picture of the futon later.

My arms really really really really hurt today. I can barely type. I know I said that yesterday but it's really true today. I was trying to blow my nose earlier and I couldn't even apply enough pressure onto my nose to wipe it. It was pathetic. I'm also kind of upset/disappointed. I paid $45 for them to deliver the futon but all they did was drop it off. They didn't even set it up for me. Isn't set up included with delivery most of the time?? I don't know, I barely get things delivered.

My BF told me last night that he told his parents that he's more serious about us and apparently, his parents took it as we are getting married tomorrow or something and they already started thinking about how many tables of people to invite to the wedding. Which is CRAZY because he hasn't even proposed yet or thought about proposing or even has the ring. And this is exactly why I don't tell my family anything because they would just run with it and probably book the restaurant or something.

So this is crazy. We've had a bunch of really crazy things happen in clinic today. I had a patient that complained about me today claiming that I attacked him. I don't know the details or what/how he's claiming I attacked him but the claims are ridiculous. I would never attack anyone. There were two other patients that came in to see other providers today and both of them attacked their provider, calling them names and threatening to hurt them. What is this?? It's like everyone just woke up and decided to show up here and be crazy. Man, I've had a long day, I can't wait for it to be OVER!

I've also had FIVE patients contact me today and tell me that they still have not gotten their medications that I claimed to have ordered for them during their last exam...and when I checked, it was true, I forgot. Gosh, I've been really terrible about remembering to order medications lately. I just finish signing the chart and then forget all about what I'm suppose to do. I really should pay extra special attention next time! I've been doing a really good job earlier last month and now that I'm slacking a little bit, this happens! Ugh, everything happens at once and makes me feel like I'm terribly inadequate. I'm going to go home and sulk a little. *sad face