Fortune telling

Hi Friend!

I definitely feel like it's a LONG time since we've caught up with each other. I know you are recovering and probably really weak right now, so it's ok. Take your time recovering and we'll talk when you feel better.

I went home this weekend again to celebrate my mom's birthday with her. She was really surprised when I showed up on Friday. I would say she was brimming with tears but she's not one of those people. But she did hug and kiss me several times which made me very uncomfortable. I'm not a hug and kiss type of person and especially not with my mom.

When I was driving back, I was trying to be very secretive about it, but I got this call from "Home" when I was driving back and I really wasn't going to answer it because I thought I might give it away but I thought, what the heck, I'll just answer it.

me: Hello (bluetooth while driving..I was being safe)
Dad: Hey, where are you? Are you almost back yet?
me: what??? I told you guys I wasn't coming home this weekend (I was totally lying!)
Dad: oh really? Sounds like you are driving, where are you going?
me: to a friend's place
Dad: oh...what friend?
me: where's mom?
Dad: at home. That's too bad you aren't coming back, we saved a bunch of food for you
me: where are you?
Dad: at home.
me: *thinks: well d'uh, the caller ID on my phone said "Home"* Is mom next to you right now?
Dad: yes
me: can she hear us talking?
Dad: no
me: oh then...I'm actually coming home! IT's a surprise for mom!
Dad: oh, ok
me: Don't tell her!
Dad: of course not, she's sleeping!
me: ok, cool, see you soon!

I just found it funny that my dad called like he knew where I was going. I would say this is mother's intuition, but this is more like Father's inuition...amazing, didn't even know stuff like that exhisted.

I was excited to spend a weekend with my parents but I found out early Friday when I got back that both my parents had to work Saturday so I was basically on my own.

So I woke up early on Saturday and caught my grandma in the kitchen. More like she caught me in the kitchen because I was looking for food to eat.

Grandma: I'm soooo happy for you that you have such a great BF.
me: really? if you like him so much why don't you marry him?
Grandma: why do you say that? you don't think he's that great?
me: I just don't like it when you'll think he's so great! Don't ask me why, it doesn't make sense to me either!

So that was that. I left the kitchen and my grandma didn't bring it up again. But later on that morning, I had to drive my mom to work and she repeatedly talked about how great my BF was and how lucky I should be to have him and that just drove me up the WALL. I broke down crying while I was driving. It was terrible and pretty dangerous! My mom got all disturbed and stopped talking to me about my BF. I dropped her off and drove to a nearby mall where I just sat around for hours just thinking. I told my BF what happened and he called me and tried to talk me through it. I'm starting to think something is wrong with me. Why would I be so angry or upset that everyone likes my BF so unconditionally? I used to think it's because they don't know what he's done to me so that's why they think he's the BEST. But given our history, I think I have some resentment towards him and I get angry because my family thinks he's perfect and treats me the best, but deep down, I know how much he's hurt me and it frustrates me that my family doesn't know about it. That might still be the reason, but now I just think I'm crazy. If I chose to be with him, I should just forget about the past, why am I still so angry and frustrated? Doesn't make sense. And I'm very upset that everyone seems to like him more than me! This brings me back to when my brother was born and all my thunder was stolen from me. I am considering seeing a psychologist about this and trying to get this internal block resolved because I don't think I can proceed like this. Break downs are not fun.

I stopped moping around eventually and went home. I was so bored at home I decided to go visit my grandma and my aunt. So that's what I did. They are big mahjong players so I knew I'd get sucked in. That's exactly what happened! And that's exactly how my Saturday was drained from me. Playing mahjong with my grandma and aunt. I know it's a little boring for me, but at least my grandma likes it and I got to spend some time with her doing something she likes.

I went home after a long afternoon of mahjong and somehow I think I fell asleep around 8ish? Which is really like 9ish where I live, so it's not THAT early.

Sunday was a little more exciting. My mom was home, dad still went to work. My mom shared with me that my HK aunt got my fortune told! It's CRAZY accurate! Ok, let's start with my brother first.

The fortune teller said my brother is smart but isn't very focused with school (so true!). But we don't have to worry about him because he'll accomplish great things (that's the second fortune teller that's told us that).  The teller said my brother must be a younger child and have an older sibling. The reason he will do well later on in his life is because his older sibling is going to help him get there. Which makes me think if my mom's just making that up so I will help my brother later on in his life. I'm very skeptical about this part.

Then onto me! The teller said that I left my home country when I was young. I'm more indepedent than my brother so even now, my job is somewhere farther from home. I have to be the oldest because I am competitive and easily jealous of things, so if I had an older sibling to compare myself to then it would have driven me insane. Then my HK aunt asked about love. They said it's not a good thing if I date someone the same year as me, unless they are younger than me (like my BF). They also said that the idea age for me to get married is 28-33. If I get married to someone that born the same year as me but is younger (which is my BF) then I'm going to bring him really good luck. Which makes me also think if my mom just made that up to encourage me to tie the knot with my BF.

Anyways, I just thought it was interesting, but this is all through my mom, whose a pathological liar, so who knows. If I really want to know the truth, I should probably ask my HK aunt. If she confirms everything then I'll know it's true. As for now, I'll believe a little bit here and there.

So later that day, my aunts, uncles, grandma and mom all went out for lunch to celebrate my mom's birthday. They were going to eat later that night (dinner) with my brother. My brother is crazy. He gets off work around 4pm and he's going to drive 1.5 hrs back to eat dinner with my mom and then drive 1.5hrs back after dinner to go back to school. Crazy kid. He must really love my mom.


So now this brings us to Monday. I've had another really busy day...very overbooked. I'm pretty tired now so I think I'll go home and take a BIG nap or maybe eat, or maybe READ or maybe watch something or maybe a combination of all those things.

I miss you, I'm sending you good vibes!