Musical Remedy:
Yes, I'm home this weekend. I took some time off next week to attend my mom's friend's funeral. Still kinda shocked this is all happening. Hard to believe that this is reality. If it's hard for me, it's gotta be a million times worse for the family going through it all. I texted her son on Thanksgiving wishing him a Happy Thanksgiving. Wasn't sure if that was appropriate or not, since he's probably not "happy" or celebrating "thanksgiving" at times like these. But nonetheless, I just wanted to wish him well. Hope he didn't take it the wrong way.
As I was driving home, for some strange reason, my radio was working through most of the drive. I mention this because it's never worked before. Around 30mins into the drive going home or back to my apartment, I just drop off the face of the Earth. I lose my 4G internet on my phone, I lose reception, I lose all my radio stations, I lose all connection with the world. I think it's really scary. Mainly because if anything ever happens to me, like I get a flat tire, or my car dies, I'm pretty much as good as dead out there. Let's just hope that never happens.
Anyways, like I was saying, the radio was on most of my drive. Which made me really happy! At least I'm not driving in complete silence and left with only my thoughts. I realized as I listened to the radio that I seem to have made a personal connection with most of the songs. Either I remember the first time I heard the song and it brings me back to that time in my life or the lyrics really touch me in one way or another. For example, the song "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum reminds me of you. I remember we were in your car and the song came on the radio and you told me you really like this song but it's probably not appropriate for me right now because it probably reminds me of my BF. I think we were going through a rough patch at that time and I really wanted to forget about him. The song lyrics were not helping me forget him at all. But yeah...I remember that. Takes me back to our fond times together. "Somebody that I used to know" by Gotye reminds me of Arizona. Casa Grande to be exact. The first time I heard that song was there and I remember thinking that's exactly how I felt about my boyfriend. I really liked the lyrics to that song and I ended up listening to it too much and now I don't like that song anymore. Adele's "Someone like you" brings me back to my time in Vandenberg, CA where I would cry to it all the time because, again, thanks to a rough patch with my BF, the lyrics tugged at my heart strings and made me breakdown every time I heard it.
I think the most notable song has to be Pink's "I don't believe you", which, if you remember, you were the one that introduced me to it. You told me that you think it reminds you of my BF and I. And since that time you mentioned it, I started to listen to it. This was when I lived up the hill in that apartment with the really nice view. I remember always just laying on my bed, crying, and listening to this song. Even when I heard it when I was out and about it would bring tears to my eyes. And then there was Rihanna's "Love the way you lie" which for some reason I was able to twist the lyrics around to apply to me. I never really understood what the song was about until you told me it was about domestic abuse. In which case, I began to realize I didn't really relate to it at all, because although my BF gave me my fair of mental/emotional abuse, he never physically hit me, so I guess it can't be considered domestic abuse.
An of course I can't forget Christina Perry's whole album which I listened to ad nauseam during my residency year last year in LA. I remember laying down on my studio floor (because I have no furniture) and just blasting her sad sad ballads and hours on end after work every day and just crying my eyeballs out. It's kinda weird to think how many hours and tears I've shed for my BF and when the dust settles....I'm still with this guy. Hmmm....makes you think...
Anyways, so I did have a purpose to all this babbling about music. I realized that music got me through rough patches in my life and I think you should give it a try too. I actually haven't asked and don't know if you are listening to any music but I think it's a good idea to start if you haven't. It's very low key, doesn't require energy and is perfect for just lounging around and resting. I recommend using the pandora app or iheartradio. My pandora app is on the Christina Perry channel, which I set because I was in that sad mood last year and moping all the time about my BF, but ending up, her channel is pretty good for more subdue, slower music, perfect for relaxing. It's also perfect for throwing yourself a little pity party and having a good cry to. Iheartradio is good for just random radio stuff. Gets radio stations from all around the world. Anyways, give it a whirl, I find that it helps compliment my emotions and sometimes lifts me a little.
Thanksgiving:
It's occurred to me I didn't even talk about how Thanksgiving went. My brother drove himself over all the way from Riverside. It's like a 4 hour drive. I'm very thankful he was willing to come. the night he came, I didn't have any dinner ready for him so he ended up cooking after he drove 4 hours. Poor kid. He made like 5 steaks, a rack of ribs, rice and veggies. It sounds like a lot of food, and it was...but we ate it all haha.
Then the next day I took him out to Mimi's Cafe and we had breakfast together there. I didn't know Mimi's Cafe was French, but I guess it was. It was kinda funny actually because we got there around 8am (when they opened). There weren't very many other people there. People started to roll in around 9ish...or maybe even later...like 10ish? And it was all elderly people that came. So my brother commented that I wake up and go to breakfast earlier than elderly people. So I'm even older than elderly folk. Right...yeah, that's the funny part just in case you missed it lol.
After breakfast we went grocery shopping and bough so much food! We went to two different grocery stores and bought so much stuff. Then we went home and snacked on stuff we bought, like guacamole and chips, with candy and cookies. I think my brother started to cook "Thanksgiving" dinner around 3pm. I wasn't even hungry since I've been pigging out all day. He made shrimp, fish, scallops, carne asada, veggies, and rice. He's pretty amazing. I really liked all the food he made.
The next day I had this overwhelming feeling of thirst. I really wanted and needed water! The whole day I had this intense dry throat, mouth and lips feeling like I've been dehydrating myself for 2 days. Then it hit me. It must have been all that food my brother made. It was very well seasoned and pretty salty. Man...I really should make a note to tell him not to cook like that. It must be not healthy to have such a large intake of salt everyday.
Being Thankful:
My brother told me that he was sad this year because he didn't have any money to go black friday shopping. I asked him why and he told me it's because he spent all his money buying my parents an ipad. Even though I really don't think my parents know how to use an ipad or would even use it...but that's really sweet of him. He's so self sacrificing now. I told him I'd buy him a few black friday things (within reason) and he even declined and said he's trying to be independent now. Awww..my baby brother is all grown up and amazing now!
In addition to that tear jerker, he told me that he's always rejected pre-made food from my parents because he knows I'm lazy and I don't cook, so he wanted to save all that stuff for me. He made an excuse to say that he likes to cook so he didn't want pre-made food so my parents would give it all to me. Awww...what a sweet brother! OMG. I feel terrible. And this whole time I am just being so selfish and taking all the food from him.
I am really thankful for my brother. Hearing him say all these nice/self-sacrificial things makes me realize he's growing into a great son, brother and person. I'm proud to have him as my brother.
Black Friday Shopping:
One of the reasons my brother came to visit me was because he thought no one would be black friday shopping where I was. So there would be no lines right? WRONG!
I went with him for the first round of black friday shopping. 8pm on thursday. Yes, they start that early now. The once empty parking lots were FULL! There were DISNEYLAND sized LINES EVERYWHERE! It took like two hours to just get INTO Target. We didn't even want to try to tackle the check out lines which looped around all the isles throughout the whole store. Probably took two hours just to check out. It was ridiculous. That was round one.
Round two: now I didn't go because I had to go to sleep. But I heard from my brother he went at 12am and tried to go to GameStop. He stood in line for a whole hour and couldn't even get into the store!! He just gave up and left!
Round three: I wasn't there for this one either but my brother went to the stores again at 7am (around the time when I left for work) to give the black friday shopping another shot. What happened there? Not sure, haven't talked to him since.
I've never seen so many people here! It's CRAZY!!
Day After Thanksgiving:
I had to work. Yes. I worked. :(
I was triple overbooked that day too. I didn't think people would show up since it's the day after Thanksgiving but EVERYONE SHOWED UP! OMG. Luckily, everyone was pretty normal and I didn't have to do full exams on some people. I told my BF this and he pointed out that, that's mainly how private practice would be. Gosh, it must be nice working in private practice and seeing normal patients all day long. Remind me again why I started working for the government? Oh yeah, I want to have this experience. I don't want to see healthy people all day long, it's not a challenge and i'll forget all my training since I won't use it that much. I just have to remind myself that this is worth it. I'll be a better doctor in the long run. This is worth it.