Updates on Mom's Friend:
My mom's friend's son called me yesterday. Yes, the one whose mom recently passed away. I was really shocked to get his phone call. Wasn't sure what to expect. Well, I had some expectations. Maybe to pass along the information about his mom's death. I thought the phone call was going to be very short but it ended up being pretty long. Maybe like 20mins? He shared the tragic news with me and some details about his mom's disease. So ending up she had a very aggressive type of lung cancer. It spread really quickly through all her organs and caused terrible organ failure and paralysis. He told me that near the end of her life, she wasn't even able to eat on her own anymore. He had to help her do everything. As he shared these experiences with me, my heart just sunk. I really could feel his pain and I felt terrible for what his mom had to go through. No one deserves that torture, especially not someone as nice and kind hearted as his mother.
Eventually, he told me how he felt and what he had been going through. His words still resonate in my mind. "It just doesn't make sense", "I just don't understand how this can happen", "This feels like a really bad nightmare, but I'm not waking up". Again, my heart sunk a little deeper.
He even shared with me that he felt guilty for feeling a little bit of relief and happiness that his mom had passed away because she was in so much pain near the end of her life that it was just agonizing watching her endure it. He felt terrible for feeling good about her passing, but "at least she isn't in pain anymore."
I felt so worthless. The whole conversation, all I could say was "I'm so sorry". I really didn't know what to say or do. And about 1 min into the conversation, I started to cry. I didn't see it coming. I didn't think I would, but there I was, breaking into tears before he did. I ended up crying a lot during the phone call actually.
He invited my family and I to his mom's funeral. It's going to be held next week on Tuesday. I went back to work and took the time off so I would be able to attend. This is going to be the first funeral I ever go to. I've never been allowed to go before. My parents were always very strict about not letting my brother and I observe such "bad luck" events.
So after I hung up with him, I called my mom and I replayed as much of the conversation as possible to her. At which point, I started to cry again. Just trying to reiterate the words that came out of his mouth was terribly hard to do without breaking into tears.
Well, I guess that's that. Terrible things do happen to good people. I guess we'll never understand why. I don't want to accept that these things happen randomly and there isn't any reason to it at all. The thought of that terrifies me. To think that any terrible thing can happen to anyone at any moment is beyond what my brain wants to comprehend. I would like to believe that there is a greater being that controls everything and there is a rhyme and reason to why things happen. There is a great meaning to being a good person and doing the right thing, because you will get rewarded for it in the future. And all the bad people will suffer! As much as I'd like to believe these things, it's not always so blatantly reflected in life. You are a good example of this. :(
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I got an update on you yesterday and it seems like you have been really tired. I just hope you're doing alright. I know you're tired so don't blame yourself for not answering my calls or returning my calls. Don't worry about it. Just rest up :)
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Weird news today. I had a patient and his wife fall in love with me today. The first thing they did when I walked into the room was say "OMG, you are SO BEAUTIFUL". When shouted it together and almost in sync, I thought they were just kidding and playing a joke on me. But when the wife started asking me questions like "Are you married?" "How old are you?" "Where are you from?" "I have a grandson, he's 6'5", are you interested?" "I'm going to set you up on a date, when are you free?"
You think that's weird, it gets worse, at the end of the exam she asks my tech how a date can be arranged between me and her grandson. When we get off work, etc, etc. And when she's finally ready to leave, she shakes my hand, pulls me in and kisses me on the cheek. She told me that my hair is really pretty and that she can just sit there and play with my hair all day long. O_O
I'm worried she's going to stalk me and bring her grandson along with her next time she comes by the clinic or something. Oh gosh...it's flattering but at the same time kinda creepy how she likes me so much. Borderline stalker creepy. Ending with the final plea "Really, THINK about it, DATE my grandson!" before she left.
What an interesting person...
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