Brother's Keeper

Last night was another Benadryl night. I find myself sleeping  a lot better with Benadryl. I sleep for longer, don't wake up in the middle of the night and feel more well rested in the morning. OH no...tis this becoming an addiction? I do have that addictive personality. It wouldn't be the first time I got addicted to medication. Well, good thing I bought a small pack of Benadryl, it's almost out actually because I've been taking double the dosage, so I'll just stop after the pack of meds runs out. That's a good plan. And I'll be too lazy to go to the store to get more...yes, good plan.

Before I drugged myself with Benadryl last night, I started to watch Brother's Keeper. OMG, it's like a million times better than Triumph in the Skies II. The excitment, the storyline, the acting, the characters, everything was BETTER! Triumph in the Skies II really over did it, their characters and storylines were so bland, I felt like they either tried too hard or didn't try at all. You know how sometimes when you have too much pressure and you try too hard, you end up doing really bad? Like that. Either that or they know Triumph in the Skies I did so well, that there will automatically be a lot of viewers for the second chapter of the series, so they just didn't try at all. I don't know what the problem is, but it was terrible. I skipped through most of it, to be honest, there were only like two storylines that I was interested in. The rest was terrible. Brother's Keeper on the other hand, I only got up to the third episode, but I've been watching the WHOLE thing. I haven't skipped through anything at all! You were right, there is a little bit of HK history there, I'm learning stuff about HK at the same time! :) The storyline is really interesting, I want to keep watching to find out what happens and why the older brother turned out the way he did. I would have watched more, but Benadryl was kicking in and I still wanted some time to read. Yes, I read now. I'm so proud :)

So like I said, I'm reading The Solitude of Prime Numbers. It also has a really interesting storyline. I want to keep reading to find out what happens to the characters. The chapters are also very short so you feel like you are reading really fast and getting through the book in a timely fashion. I like books like that. Chapters that are too long make me feel like I'm never going to finish and it's dragging on. I think it's because I'm a slow reader. So I base my reading pace on how many chapters I get through. If there are short chapters, I get through many chapters, then I feel like I'm reading really fast. But if it's LONG chapters and I'm reading forever and still haven't finished one chapter then it just discourages me to read. I try not to stop reading until I get through a whole chapter, so even if I get really tired, I try to power through and finish the chapter before I stop reading. That sometimes, can make me skim or lose interest in the book because I'm forcing myself to finish. But I totally don't have this problem with this book. Yay!

So because I've been drugging myself with Benadryl each night, I actually haven't talked to my BF in a few nights now. I bet he's super happy. I feel like when he calls me, he calls me because he feels like he's obligated to do so. If he doesn't call me, then he feels bad or something. When we talk, he just spaces out and does something else, he's not even part of the conversation. One time, I confronted/joked around with him about it.

Me: Do you just clock in at work and then space out?
BF: No.
Me: Then why do you do that with me when you call me? You call, I pick up, you "clock in" and then space out and let me do the rest of the talking
BF: O_O hahah, that was good, very witty
Me: Really?? I thought so too! :)

There is so much truth in that statement though. Even though our conversations can last hours, I feel like it's just me talking the whole time. So that's why I made a decision.

Me: you don't have to call me everyday, in fact, why don't you not call me until I come up to visit you in March
BF: why?
Me: that way, you might actually miss me and not dispise conversations with me
BF: I don't dispise conversations with you
Me: really? is that why you space out and do other things while I just talk to myself?
BF: eh..........
Me: you are pausing, that means you are doing something else right now! You can't multitask and everytime you are doing something else while you are talking to me, I can tell! Because you don't respond as quickly and you hesitate!
BF: ehh......hold on, let me just finish this email
Me: *angry

Since that didn't work and he still calls me, I just either don't pick up his call (well, lately it's because of the Benadryl) or I leave the conversations short. Like no more than 20mins. It kinda surprises him.

Me: hello
BF: hi
Me: how's it going?
BF: ok
Me: alright, I'm going to let you go now, bye
BF: wait, what? That's it? You have nothing else to say?
Me: I'm trying to keep our conversations short.
BF: oh....um..well, you don't have to do that
Me: I'm assuming it'll keep our conversations more interesting
BF: um......so today at work, I......*keeps trailing on about work story

It sort of works because then he starts to voluntarily talk and fill in the void. And by the time he's done with his story, it's been a few mins and I hang up. So it's not too long, he talks and we are all happy.

I thought I'd feel really disconnected from him since I haven't talked to him in a while, but I really am ok with it. Maybe because I'm more obsessed with my itchy patches right now than anything else in my life. Let me think...yes, it's true. I haven't spent like any time on anything else aside from tending to my swollen, painful, red itchy patches. I keep having these nightmares that I got MORE itchy patches. That these bugs crawl on me in the middle of the night and feast on me like I'm some sort of live feeding ground. *shivers I try not to think about it because when I do, it makes me itchy all over my body. And I get really paranoid before I crawl into bed because I'm scared that all these bugs are on my bed. *shivers

I think we are overdue for hanging out together. I can't wait until you get better and I can either come to you or you can come to me and we can hang out again. We don't even need to do very much, I like lounging around :)