Itchy Patches

I just saw your thoughtful, touching, thank you note on facebook. I feel like I don't really deserve your thank you. I didn't really do anything for you during this time at all. I wasn't there for you, physically, mentally, or emotionally. I wasn't able to reach you on the phone, text, email or anything. I wasn't super good about keeping my promise to blog so you have something to read. I am very touched that you added me to your thank you note but I also feel guilty that I wasn't able to do more to support you, given our distance apart. I am really glad that you are finally leaving the hospital and is released from your prison. Freedom feels good doesn't it? I know time is probably passing by so slowly for you right now, it always does during trialing times, but you have made the first step towards your recovery! The worst is over now and things like slowly but surely get better from here. I'm really proud of you for all that you have endured. Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I don't know if I would be strong enough to go through what you are going through. I'm a total weakling. You really are my hero, my inspiration, and most of all, I'm proudest to call you my friend. I'm thankful to know someone as strong as you. I can't speak for everyone else, but I'm sure most, if not all, of your other friends feel the same way. So instead of your sending me that thank you facebook note, I should be sending you one! I don't really know how to send those facebook notes, so blogging will be my way to thank you. haha.

I'm really glad I'm starting to hear from you more. I was getting extremely worried about you when you were responding to me. I would just try to test the waters by texting you, calling, maybe some emails, and when I didn't hear back from you, I knew you were probably really tired and needed rest. I tried not to bug you too much because I know you probably would feel bad if I tried really hard to contact you and you didn't respond back to me. I knew you would contact me when you were feeling better, but I still couldn't help but worry about you since I didn't know how you were doing.

I'm sorry I've been slacking in sending you stuff, but work and family and new years has been crazy. I finally found time this weekend to send you something. I found something else to send you too, but it'll probably have to wait AGAIN until I have time to send it again. Haha. I really should just buy a bunch of stamps because most of the time, I just need a stamp and I can send you stuff. One of these days, I'll get there, I'll get a book of stamps and I'll be able to send you stuff without being confined to sending you things during Post Office working hours (which happen to be the same as my working hours). Except Saturday, which is nice, gives me ONE day of opportunity to send things.

Sorry it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been really swamped at work, to the point that sometimes I've broken down during an exam or during the course of my morning. I get so stressed out sometimes with my highly overbooked schedule that I feel really overwhelmed. And when I get to a point that I feel like there are just too many patients for me to see and I'm falling really behind, that's when I start to panic and break down. I've only done it a few times, luckily, but for the most part I've been able to hold it together most of the time. After work I usually just collapse in exhaustion so I haven't really had the mind set to even think about doing anything else aside from just mindless watching TV on the couch and fall asleep.

As of recent, you've seen my itchy patches. I have that one around my eye, which was almost swollen shut, then I have another itchy patch on my hand, that has now hardened and also started to massively swell, and now I found another itchy patch on my foot. I wake up several times a night itching so badly. It's gotten so bad that even burning the itchy patches with a hot spoon has only been a temporary solution. Under the suggestion of my friend, John, he recommended taking some Benadryl which makes me very drowsy. The Benadryl has helped decrease the swelling around my eye, but my hand is still very swollen and painful. He thinks I have cellulitis and recommends an oral antibiotic. I don't know, I'm going to wait it out, and if I still don't improve maybe I'll consider taking one. Don't you remember that really bad itchy patch I got in HK where it spread through my entire thigh? If I survived through that, I should be able to get through this too...hopefully *fingers crossed*

This is the first weekend since the last THREE weekends that I got to spend here and didn't have to drive back home. I'm really thankful for that. I like going home, but sometimes it's nice to have a break from long distance driving and from my family. I try to not let them get to me, but it's so hard to have them on your back all the time about getting married and telling me how much they love my BF and how they want grandkids. It's all things I want to give to them, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't help when they constantly push and inquire about it, when it's not really up to me to decide. It's kind of a TWO person decision and at this point in the relationship, it's more of my BF's decision of when he wants to purpose and get the ball rolling. It's really frustrating to know that they have all these high expectations for us and how I'm not even sure I'll be able to fulfill these expectations. Given our dating track record I'm honestly even surprised we've stayed together this long without breaking up somewhere in between! I mean, aren't you? You know about our dating record. Isn't is surprising we are still together? I am not sure, but I think most of it might be due to the fact that we are long distance. We rarely see each other and even when we do see each other it's for a short time period, so there's not really any time to fight or not get along.

Speaking about my BF, it's snowing up there. It's pretty heavy snow too. My BF told me that it's so dangerous right now because apparently no one plows the roads up there and everyone's been skidding a lot. My BF told me that he actually was driving home and approached this one intersection and couldn't stop at the stop sign because his tires had no traction, so he just skid into the intersection. There were cars coming but luckily it was a slow intersection and the cars were driving slowly or else they would have hit him and he could have been in an accident. It started snowing on Thursday and he was telling me he wanted to go to work on Friday. I was so worried about him, driving in such bad conditions. I spent so much time trying to convince him to stay home, because technically he can work from home. I was really happy when he told me he stayed home on Friday and didn't risk his life to go to work. See what I mean about being over dedicated to his job? I bet if it was snowing and I lived close to him, he wouldn't risk his life to drive over and see me. But of course, he'd risk his life to drive to work. *rolls eyes*

He sent me pictures of Max (the dog) and Aly (the reindeer) sitting on his balcony watching the snow. They look so cute and peaceful. Looks like they were really enjoying the snow. I know you don't agree to our obsession with our stuffed animal beanie BOOs but I thought I'd just share it with you anyway. Haha. OMG, I just got a flashback of you hanging Kurtis by the neck from my bathroom in LA. -_- Bad memories.

I really can't wait for the three day weekend coming up! It's going to be so nice to have more days off. I never feel like two days is enough anymore just because I get so overworked during the week. I get so tired I want to just sleep and sleep and rest and sleep some more. I haven't been able to do that recently because my itchy patches always wake me up in the middle of the night. My Benadryl is helping me sleep more but I'm still not back to my fully functioning self. I can't wait until these itchy patches go away! I hope they don't leave scars! So far every itchy patch I've had here has left a SCAR on my body! I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older and therefore I don't heal as well or if the bugs here are more DEADLY and leave more toxic itchy patches that scar, but either way, I really hope the one on my face doesn't scar! OMG, that would be terrible! It's nice that my glasses cover most of the itchy patch and if it scarred, it would cover most of the scar but still, I'd prefer to not scar. Please. *crosses fingers*

I'd update more but I'm incredibly drowsy right now, not sure if I'm even making sense. I'm glad you are being discharged and on your road to recovery! I look forward to hearing from you more! Love you!